It took me a while to have the courage to write this but I think it's an important life lesson for one and all to better themselves in one way or another. I want everyone to understand that I regard myself as an open-minded, caring, people-person with a sense of humor who always tries to help others so this post is coming from my heart. My family is probably closest to the most diverse melting pot that the United States has to offer. We have everything from Irish, German, Native American and Creole in our blood in various different ways whether by blood or adoption and that’s just in the immediate family. I relate to many people on many different levels which I love about my family giving me such life experiences. Life is what it is and growing up in the South I’ve seen various types of people skills and communication relations with and without an underlying stigma or stereotype. I am in no way naive and thought I had seen it all until I came upon the land of 10,000 lakes. These people may or may not have been visitors from other states like us just there for the hospital so I don’t want to blast the entire state but it sure seemed like it was the majority all doing the same thing. I think you have to have been there to know exactly what I am feeling but I think everyone at some point has felt the out of place, being stared at because you’re a little different kind of feeling.
As most of you know Anthony & I went to Minnesota to the world renowned Mayo Clinic hospital to get a 2nd opinion on the nerve prognosis and where to go from here. The appointments were just fine and the doctor was very thorough and sincere. His advice was to not to do anything since it may deter the progress he’s made and probably even make the little pain he’s experiencing now even more severe. It was just what we needed to give us peace of mind to not do anything rash at this moment and to rely on the bionics guys with these amazing braces they have out now to help Anthony reach his physical fitness goals. As of today he actually ran 3 miles for the first time which is as outstanding as it gets right now for us! He's getting back to normal and feeling really great about his progress.
The weather was bone chillingly cold and at times was -12* or less! We couldn't believe it but thankfully was very prepared. What did bother us and myself in particular was the complete and blatant disregard for common courtesy and human decency wherever we went. I honestly felt like we went back in time and we were absolutely unwelcome just due to the volume of gazing looks and burning stares. Anthony has been to countries where everyone has stared at him because unless you were from Thailand or Japan you didn’t look like them and were just an obvious visitor but since you contributed to their economy they went out of their way to assist you. Well it was kind of like that but then again it wasn’t. I am not used to that kind of outward display of human separation. I felt degraded. Day after day you could tell that we weren’t from around there and were on display to look at. I do not understand how someone could just purposefully stare at another person while they’re eating their breakfast! How could an employee be so polite and sweet to one customer and then when I come to the line say, “What can I get you?” and when my coffee is ready say, “Hey, here…” and shove it in my direction. There were just too many instances to count that were absolutely rude and disheartening. While walking basically anywhere there were just so many numerous times we felt out of place. I don’t understand it at all.
After feeling so beat down emotionally, the thing that got me through that entire event was my sister and mom reminding me time and time again that no one else matters but my husband at that moment and we were there for his benefit. I realized also that if those hurtful, so-called adults knew the reason why we were there that they would be so ashamed of themselves for being so disgustingly rude. This country as great as it is has room for folks who are like that and in some way it can be justified as unknowing and unknowledgeable. Even though I don’t stare at people like they do with those kinds of expressions and make them feel like they made me feel I forgive them today. My husband is a Marine and is who he is to help people like that to have the freedom to be able to do whatever they want within the law. My emotions went from hurt, to upset, to vengeful, to angry, to hateful, to understanding, to forgiving but remindful of those occurrences. I took away the mindset that I will try my best to make more of an effort to help others feel more welcome whether its new Marine wives, mothers, family members, friends and strangers so that they know that in the Marine Corps family we are not unwelcoming and unfriendly. I would never want anyone that I’ve met and come in contact with to feel like I was unhelpful, rude or out of line in anyway. I feel like I am a better person than that and when my girls get a little older they’ll hear this same story and we’ll talk about ways they can help others and not make people feel left out. My advice for this particular blog and those who read this is something I’ve heard since childhood in and out of First Baptist Church is: to do unto others as you’d have done unto you…
Make it a great day everyone!
