Twas the Night before Christmas...

'Twas The Night Before Christmas,

He Lived All Alone,

In A One Bedroom House

Made Of Plaster And Stone.

I Had Come Down The Chimney

With Presents To Give,

And To See Just Who

In This Home Did Live.

I Looked All About,

A Strange Sight I Did See,

No Tinsel, No Presents,

Not Even A Tree.

No Stocking By Mantle,

Just Boots Filled With Sand,

On The Wall Hung Pictures

Of Far Distant Lands.

With Medals And Badges,

Awards Of All Kinds,

A Sober Thought

Came Through My Mind.

For This House Was Different,

It Was Dark And Dreary,

I Found The Home Of A Soldier,

Once I Could See Clearly.

The Soldier Lay Sleeping,

Silent, Alone,

Curled Up On The Floor

In This One Bedroom Home.

The Face Was So Gentle,

The Room In Such Disorder,

Not How I Pictured

A United States Soldier.

Was This The Hero

Of Whom I'd Just Read?

Curled Up On A Poncho,

The Floor For A Bed?

I Realized The Families

That I Saw This Night,

Owed Their Lives To These Soldiers

Who Were Willing To Fight.

Soon Round The World,

The Children Would Play,

And Grownups Would Celebrate

A Bright Christmas Day.

They All Enjoyed Freedom

Each Month Of The Year,

Because Of The Soldiers,

Like The One Lying Here.

I Couldn't Help Wonder

How Many Lay Alone,

On A Cold Christmas Eve

In A Land Far From Home.

The Very Thought

Brought A Tear To My Eye,

I Dropped To My Knees

And Started To Cry.

The Soldier Awakened

And I Heard A Rough Voice,

"Santa Don't Cry,

This Life Is My Choice;

I Fight For Freedom,

I Don't Ask For More,

My Life Is My God,

My Country, My Corps."

The Soldier Rolled Over

And Drifted To Sleep,

I Couldn't Control It,

I Continued To Weep.

I Kept Watch For Hours,

So Silent And Still

And We Both Shivered

From The Cold Night's Chill.

I Didn't Want To Leave

On That Cold, Dark, Night,

This Guardian Of Honor

So Willing To Fight.

Then The Soldier Rolled Over,

With A Voice Soft And Pure,

Whispered, "Carry On Santa,

It's Christmas Day, All Is Secure."

One Look At My Watch,

And I Knew He Was Right.

"Merry Christmas My Friend,

And To All A Good Night."

Written by Lance Corporal James M. Schmidt in 1986. Printed in Leatherneck (The Magazines for the Marines) in December 1991.

Annaleigh's story...

Things to really think about while reading this article: Are you a supporter of the Marine Corps? Do you take offense when someone says something ignorant about the Marines? Do images of these guys with seen and unseen injuries limping off the battlefield and the photos of flag draped caskets bring a tear to your eye? Do you support your husband no matter what and would advocate for his job in the Marine Corps and your patriotism? Overall people are patriotic to the core. This is our homeland, our military, our land of the free because of the brave and all that right?

Well, let me introduce y’all to a good friend of mine which y’all may see below referred to as Pacheco’s wife aka AnnaLeigh. She is not so new to the circle of friends in my life but new to this blog. She is a young, beautiful brunette & thin like most of us long to be, but also has very quick wit and a short temper for ignorance like most wives who been through what she’s been through.

We became acquaintances under dire circumstances when I was still a family readiness assistant & personal assistant to the newest Family Readiness Officer. She’d called me as her point of contact to tell me it was rumored around good ol' Facebook & the 'watercooler' that her husband was missing limbs and they only found his head in combat yet she hadn’t heard any news from him or Headquarters Marine Corps in Virginia. Cue the expletives! Idiotic, insensitive individuals is what I will say about this situation. This is what everyone meant in those trainings, seminars and meetings about the deployments in saying ‘loose lips’; these individuals should have kept their mouths shut about things they had no idea was true or not; when in fact her husband was absolutely fine. Drama! This is the main reason why most wives are apprehensive to be friends with other wives due to this ignorance and complete disregard for others privacy and feelings.

Her husband, Jason put Anthony on the Blackhawk out of Afghanistan when he was injured so we have always been thankful and appreciative for him in our lives. Coincidentally after she’d talked to her husband about the rumors, just 10 hours later while on patrol he did happen to step on an IED, incur a TBI and lose his right leg and part of his pinky finger. We became actual friends when our lives took an unexpected hard right turn almost at the same time. Between the sometimes simultaneous doctors’ appointments, red tape of injuries, trying to figure out a way to forge on in the Marine Corps and get our guys better; our lives seemed to mirror in more than one way.

So you can see she is just as awesome as her husband and has been through more than her fair share of obstacles! She dealt with unruly in-laws overstepping and overstaying their welcome while she’s trying to reunite with her husband after being in a combat zone and experiencing a horrific incident, this is enough to break anyone! Not to mention both of them were adjusting to the injury itself and those obstacles, the medications, surgeries, opinions, therapies, prosthetics and all that comes with being in the hospital more than being at home. She’s been his rock and he’s been so motivated to get back to where he belongs with his men that he was actually given that opportunity by the Commandant and Sgt Major of the Marine Corps and will leave soon to go back to Afghanistan.

The other day there was a unit function to honor the Marine Corps birthday. She was sitting alone while her husband and mine were running around somewhere and a random wife approaches her. The young lady polite enough and possibly with innocent intentions said, “Hello there, who are you here with?” AnnaLeigh said she was there with her husband, Jason. This wife must not have known who AnnaLeigh was because she then sarcastically and in typical high school girl fashion said, “Well…it must be nice…” Full of self restraint and grace AnnaLeigh responded, “Yeah, it is nice.” The inquisitive lady said, “Has he ever been to Afghanistan?” AnnaLeigh once again with the patience of a saint informed her, “Yes, he has. He went last year and lost his leg but he’s going back again soon.” The young woman was speechless and had to have found herself, embarrassed and outdone so she simply walked away.

Now how AnnaLeigh kept it together I will never know, I wasn’t present to witness this teaching lesson. But I do hope that young lady has more forethought from now on to actually learn a person’s story and not be so quick to be a smartass and stick her foot in her mouth before she disrespects those she doesn’t know from Adam. Especially a Wounded Warrior Wife who’s been through so much in just a year’s time. I hope that narrow-minded person learned a bit of respect for those who are left behind here whether they attend a mostly deployed unit’s event or otherwise. Just because these guys appear 100% on the outside does not mean there are not scars there at all & are invisible to the naked eye. Jason and Anthony both wore pants to that event but they are full of scratches, scars and pain no will ever know but the men they fought with and those closest to them. The Wounded Warriors and their wives shouldn’t have to explain or justify any of that and neither should anyone else who is left behind after a unit deploys. Everyone has a story whether they are asked to tell it or not. 

The stares, the probing questions, the ignorance is just a glimpse of what Wounded Warrior wives deal with often from strangers even other military spouses, who don't understand or know our whole story. 

We’re taught to love one another and be kind. Would you have judged a book by its cover in AnnaLeigh by having her husband at an event? Would you have been so quick to judge and respond with a snark comment without knowing her story? Do you think that young lady learned to look outside of herself and her situation and maybe won’t be so ignorant to the facts next time?

My Momma...

There are many songs, poems and literature written about how a mom should be and the love of a mom to her child.  The funny ones make you laugh and the good ones that apply so well and are totally true make you cry.  This little blog made me cry with happiness and just memories flooding in.  I hope it makes you happy too mom.

I know I am blessed to have my momma in my life and on this earth; especially on her special day and to be able to call her up any time and hear her voice is truly something I do not take for granted.  Even as a young child I could see how deeply she loved all of her kids, how she always wanted us around and always spent time with us and took care of us emotionally and mentally.  I couldn’t have asked for a more caring, loving and understanding individual.  It really did seem like she was put on this earth to make us happy.  I don’t know how the hell she did it.  She had a smile on her face pretty much the entire time and living in Southern California everyone has the go-with-the-flow mindset that she had that I never really understood how she hardly ever was under stress.  Now that I’m older I know momma had little tricks up her sleeve and under her belt that I wish I could do and everyone knows I haven’t mastered any.  She wasn’t mother Teresa but she was my saint and guardian angel to me in my time of need from my birth.  Without her literally I don’t know where I would be in this world right now and I owe my start, beginning, upbringing and moral values to the woman who loved me at first sight and chose to love me unconditionally.  Those who know me know I was a stubborn and strong-minded young person but those are hormones for you and I’ve apologized for that.  I do know I hope to spend the rest of my days making sure my girls get to know, understand and hear all the awesome things momma told me and momma’s momma taught me.  Words aren’t descriptive enough to say how wonderful I think she is and I won’t even try but to know that someone always is and will be in your corner as your biggest fan and cheerleader supporting you through your life is the greatest gift anyone could ever give even if you had all the money in the world.  To be happy and content with your family and knowing that my mom and family is happy is more than enough; to have folks understand and ‘get’ you is worth it’s weight in gold and that’s what makes me happy.  Daddy is watching down on us probably wondering what we’re going to get you for your birthday momma and wishing he could call Margaret to tell her to get you something for him then acting surprised at your reaction and asking you if he could have it.  I hate that I can’t be with my mom on her birthday but know my family will be there for her to wish her the best on her special day.  I love you more than anything Momma….Happy Birthday.

Zumba with Gaby...

Holy cow batman!  Went to Zumba with Gaby tonight for the first time ever. 

We first walk by the room and see about 6 rows of skinny girls r' us and kept on walking.  We debated for a moment, weighed the pros and cons then decided to just check it out anyways.  We'd been procrastinating this class for months now and had finally made our way to the parking lot so we had to at least pop in.  We could've always left if we started hyperventilating or one of us passed out right?  We noticed so many people in the room they had to move equipment to cram us all in.  There tons of water bottles (as we soon would find out we NEED and now know for the next time) as we meekly made our way to the back of the room thinking we had gone insane to try this and one of us surely would faint before the night was over.  That room was intimidating at first because of the sheer numbers but also the hard core Zumba people are in the front glaring at folks walking in while stretching in preparation to burn burn burn those calories away.  Gaby and I are back of the room work out folks thank you very much. 

Zumba is not what you see on television.  Okay well maybe a bit with the crazed gym rat size 0 instructor in the front trying to motivate everyone to contort their bodies in shapes we haven't done in years all the while urging us to 'work it out'.  After literally 20 minutes I was thinking, 'um yeah I'm going to work my butt off in a hot tub with some Epsom salt and Icy/Hot afterwards and maybe a heating pad for good measure!' I have 2 kids and feel too old to do dance routines from my youth days of drill team.  That young lady was determined to make us sweat though come hell or high water.

Oh let me backtrack.  This is a Marine Corps gym on base here so what I found HILARIOUS was that there were a number of gentlemen in this class & they shook their money makers like she did when the time called for it.  Oh man these guys who were in the back of the room with us made this class worthwhile.  They were very young and sweet but it was amazing to see guys doing the same moves this instructor lady was doing and the guys kept up with her and on beat.  Apparently Gaby & I had been missing out on this craze called Zumba because everyone is into it.  

Gone are the times of Bunco, Bingo, bowling or a gentle stroll down your block with the one you love.  Couples go to Zumba in 2011!  We'll definitely go again and maybe even take the husbands along with us to share in the fun with the rest of us.

can't believe it's been 3 years!

Time heals wounds.  Whoever said that is full of shit…lol. No not really but about half right.  I agree that it heals your heart by easing your grief but your mind is a whole other ocean of emotions.  When I sit back and think about the time that has come and gone since my dad has passed I think about the birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, life changes and everything that has occurred without him.  That gets me every time.   

Hell he would have never guessed that McCain would lose and we have the president we do.  Jokingly and sarcastically maybe but never in a million years would he have thought it would have came true. Ha! 

He would have loved to see my sister kick cancers ass considering he passed away from it.  Everything simultaneously was smashed together 3 years ago today; her diagnosis, daddy’s illness and then passing which was incredibly hard on all of us but no one more than my sister.  That’s enough stress to make anyone crumble but like always she showed grace, strength, and still is amazingly inspiring through it all. 

He would have been worried and excited to know I moved across the country.  He always had high hopes for me but we never thought I’d leave Texas ever!  He’d be surprised at how 3 years could completely change a persons’ life for the better.  I wish he could see my house, how my Chevy truck is still kickin’, how these ‘hippies and gold rush folks’ out here do more than surf and smoke pot all day like most Texans think and that they do have decent bar-b-que here.  I wish he could see my Wyatt Earp and Cody they love momma and I know daddy would have reluctantly loved them too. 

He would have never guessed my momma would have gotten on an airplane and lived to tell the tale!  She got on her first one to come and visit me in California and has been on the move ever since.  She’s accomplished so much and come a long way.  She misses her best friend and companion of 40+ years and to know a love of that magnitude then to let it go has to be the hardest thing a woman ever has to do.  Their fights, bickering, pinched butts, loving glances, sarcastic daggering glances, nicknames like “big butt” and the joking back and forth of their relationship balanced out the serious and not so serious times. 

We have such a huge family and it has gone through some definite changes since daddy passed some for the good and not so good.  If he were here he would have seen Brittany graduate high school, go to college, is a lifeguard and just a very beautiful young lady.  Brooke became an awesome violist, started high school, and is super smart with absolutely everything animals, she also is beautiful and looks a lot like Margaret as a teenager.  The animal changes Margaret’s had in her household daddy wouldn’t have been able to keep up with quite like myself but the big monster MoeMoe and licker Odie; none of us can forget.  Christopher’s out of college, doing extremely well in Dallas which is really great for a very smart and handsome young man he turned out to be.  Kyndel add a few more to her nest and settle down with a nice man who seems to really care about his kids and Kyndel.  Josh has followed in the footsteps of the Berner men by becoming an Engineer for the Merchant Marines which is amazing and has done and seen so many new things it’s unreal.  He will make many friends and many stories along this journey.  Christina and Jonathan both are doing so well in their jobs and families even though there’s always constant change going on.  Nevaeh and Amber have been through so much in their short years on this earth but they’ve come through it all with flying colors and are amazing little munchkins so smart and dingy at the same time; a little Texan and a little Californian.  He’d be shocked at how big they’ve gotten and how many big words Anthony & I don’t even know damn Californian teachers.  Melissa shocked the hell out of us all with her enlistment finally into the Navy.  Regardless of the obstacles she had to go through to get there, stay there and fight hard to continue on with her course of training she really showed her grit and commitment to her military service.  He’d definitely be amused that the Navy apparently just gives money away and that even though Melissa’s only been in 7 months she is almost at the pay grade Anthony is at with almost 5 years in! 

I think we all miss his presence and the conversations the most.  The daily numerous phone calls to just check on us and funny voicemails we all knew what he’d say, “hey crystal, this is your daddy…” lol. I knew his voice like the back of my hand but every voice mail was the same it made me laugh then but cry now.  I wish I could hear that voice again.  I think we all miss sitting and talkin’ for a long time about nothing.  Anything would do from the neighbors, the weather from present to past, his family, our family including the crazy ones; nothing was off limits to a good conversation.  He’d tell you what he really thought then what he thought others would think would be politically correct so if someone asked you could just quote the watered down version. LOL!  

I think we all really miss that the most and like I said time heals the grief but I doubt it will ever quell the memories in our mind. 

9-11

Like most of you I saw a status going around facebook recently about the mayor of NYC not inviting his cities finest first responders to their 9/11 ceremony but didn’t really believe it until the other day.  Holy crap was I wrong!  It just rubbed me the wrong way and I can't believe that this was an issue during a supposedly humble time of remembrance and unity.

Sitting in the emergency room with my daughter waiting on x-rays for a broken finger from a downhill skateboarding incident; the Bill O’Reilly show was on with Geraldo Rivera as a co-host.  They were doing a segment about Mayor Bloomberg’s justification for not inviting people to the official 9/11 memorial and dedication ceremony.  I found myself agreeing with O’Reilly since Bloomberg’s standpoint was ridiculous in saying that there’s no way to decipher which clergy, firemen and policemen would he invite if he had even extended the offer.  O’Reilly stated that basically out of respect and honor for the event and purposes for the ceremony itself that he should have invited some rather than none at all. 

These nameless faces are doing outstanding work day in andday out and the Mayor expects them to do those jobs but when it comes time to be graceful and show honor and appreciation for saving those that could be saved on that fateful day those nameless faces are slapped.  Interesting to ponder and maybe even compare to today’s military perspective in regards to this war.  The show was all jaw dropping to say the least.  I just cannot believe that there are people who would intentionally disregard the influence and presence of people whose main job is to be ready, open and available for the people.  Mayor Bloomberg I think you had a pretty sorry excuse and it was just a cop out.  Maybe you didn’t realize the real meaning of that ceremony and what it represents maybe you’ve become out of touch with that meaning.  I think maybe he shouldn’t have been invited to the ceremony and the Mayor at the time should have been the only one allowed to attend since he was so concerned with space and priority.  It’s like saying the Marines who were on the front lines in Iraq and Afghanistan are good at their jobs but really only a few are outstanding and we’ll have a huge gathering to give accolades and credit to only those who got press time and met the President. 

Either way the city is rebuilding at ground zero and so is the nation as a whole but to this day our men and women are out there laying their lives on the line for people who may or may not appreciate or understand it.  Politicians with absolutely no military experience or ties and the average clueless civilian expect and demand protection from this great nation but do they comprehend the impact on the service members and the loved ones who are by their side?  Do they understand what we go through physically, emotionally and mentally day in and out to keep sane for our Marines so that this country maintains its security?  My hope is that our nation does realize and sheds a tear for those innocent lives lost just by going to work one morning and for those wanting nothing more than to help the ones in trouble as well as those who fought and continue to fight for vengeance and reconcile to those lives lost.  Like cowards the terrorists like to hit people when they’re not looking.  Those civilians had no clue they were going into battle when they woke up that beautiful morning in NYC but the military sure as hell brought them a battle not too long after that; hell they asked for it. 

The phrase “adapt and overcome” can be used in many contexts and I think it applies here.  We’ve learned our lesson about having our guard down and have adapted and overcome in an attempt to make this country stronger and more efficient in the last 10 years.  Those who’ve tried to test us haven’t had their satisfaction and have seen the wrath of Old Glory herself.  Today think of those lives lost and who aren’t able to kiss their spouses, mothers and children ever again.  Today think of the families left behind to keep the lost ones’ memories alive and live on to care for their loved ones.  Honor and remember those who selflessly and willingly volunteered to help that fateful day and went unknowingly but selflessly running towards their death without hesitation.  And finally remember those who lost their lived since the beginning of this war and those who continue to fight with their lives for us and our freedom everyday in the sandbox. 

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands one nation under God indivisible with Liberty and Justice for all.

God Bless America!  Thank God for the military and especially the Marine Corps!

work in progress will devour my life...

Hey all! I'm apologizing ahead of time I don't mean to neglect my blog but I'm almost certain I won't be posting nearly as much I'd want to.

This will be the month that I'm in full force working on my new 'baby' as well as Anthonys unit is deploying to Afghanistan soon so it is a busy time now. My book is a constant work in progress that will probably consume my life for a while so please bear with me. I am working on a few projects at one time and now do a bi-weekly editorial for Military Press which is an amazing opportunity. Like always I just hope and pray to help out as many on this Marine Corps ride as possible with all of these new endeavors.

Any and all progress will be noted on here for your reference.

My girls are at a YMCA Horse camp so I have a little empty nest syndrome but hopefully I'll be able to write like a maniac while it's quiet but I know that's not how it works either. :)

-To the graduating class of recruits about to become new Marines this week at MCRD Congrats! A parent we know will be down for her sons graduation. Have lots of fun and enjoy this special moment!

-Congrats as well to our good friends the Pacheco's and Doyle's. The men picked up Sgt and we couldn't be more proud of them both!

Wounded Warrior Conference...Rubin Tibor

Anthony & I attended a Wounded Warrior Project conference not too long ago and the highlight of our entire weekend by far was the speech given by Medal of Honor Recipient, 2 time POW survivor as well as Purple Heart recipient Rubin Tibor. His biography on the page was enough to make everyone who’d read it prior to him even getting up on stage stand out of respect and reverence for his service. The stories he told were of dedication in the face of discrimination and disrespect, commitment in the face of defeat and despair and love of country even when it could be looked at as if his country had forgotten about him. It was just so incredible to see such passion from a man of 85 years. He could emotionally stir a room and make them laugh hysterically within a few sentences. His daughter even spoke a little bit and just said he wants other generations to know that basically with everything that you fight for there will be more obstacles but keeping your head high and a sense of humor helped him tremendously. He wants to tell his story so that others who face injuries and adversity could maybe learn something and be inspired to know that Mr. Tibor still has the same commitment to his country now than ever before and wants to share his experiences so that others may be inspired as well. I hope very soon that we’ll have a chance to hear him speak again since he is such an exceptional gentleman.


The Army citation for the Medal of Honor reads:
For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty: Corporal Tibor Rubin distinguished himself by extraordinary heroism during the period from July 23, 1950, to April 20, 1953, while serving as a rifleman with Company I, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Cavalry Division in the Republic of Korea. While his unit was retreating to the Pusan Perimeter, Corporal Rubin was assigned to stay behind to keep open the vital Taegu-Pusan Road link used by his withdrawing unit. During the ensuing battle, overwhelming numbers of North Korean troops assaulted a hill defended solely by Corporal Rubin. He inflicted a staggering number of casualties on the attacking force during his personal 24-hour battle, single-handedly slowing the enemy advance and allowing the 8th Cavalry Regiment to complete its withdrawal successfully. Following the breakout from the Pusan Perimeter, the 8th Cavalry Regiment proceeded northward and advanced into North Korea. During the advance, he helped capture several hundred North Korean soldiers. On October 30, 1950, Chinese forces attacked his unit at Unsan, North Korea, during a massive nighttime assault. That night and throughout the next day, he manned a .30 caliber machine gun at the south end of the unit's line after three previous gunners became casualties. He continued to man his machine gun until his ammunition was exhausted. His determined stand slowed the pace of the enemy advance in his sector, permitting the remnants of his unit to retreat southward. As the battle raged, Corporal Rubin was severely wounded and captured by the Chinese. Choosing to remain in the prison camp despite offers from the Chinese to return him to his native Hungary, Corporal Rubin disregarded his own personal safety and immediately began sneaking out of the camp at night in search of food for his comrades. Breaking into enemy food storehouses and gardens, he risked certain torture or death if caught. Corporal Rubin provided not only food to the starving Soldiers, but also desperately needed medical care and moral support for the sick and wounded of the POW camp. His brave, selfless efforts were directly attributed to saving the lives of as many as forty of his fellow prisoners.

So as you can see he is definitely our hero and we couldn’t thank him enough for coming out to do the seminar and share his stories with us. Complete bad ass?! I think so! This man inspired me to look into our own backyard and see what hidden gems are within our own family tree. I found quite a bit and now and going to tirelessly work on crafting another blog dedicated to our families military history and anything they have to say from the past and for the future generations to pass on their knowledge so that it is not lost through time.

this 4th of July...and last 4th of July for us...

Did you know that our Marine Corps is older than this country? It’s only older by 8 months or so but that still that says something about the good timing of the founding father of the Marine Corps. Growing up and even now people associate 4th of July with fireworks, bar-b-que’s and family reunions but where did this tradition come from?

Basically the prominent people in the free states in America had gotten pretty ticked off with the British King and wanted to let him know their intent to separate from Great Britain. They did just that by writing the declaration of independence and using many reasons and justifications for separating from the monarch even calling the King’s rule ‘a history of repeated injuries’. They defined the King as ‘a Tyrant who was unfit to be the ruler of the free people of the United States of America’. The legal separation from the monarchy occurred and went into effect when the congress voted to approve a resolution of independence on July 2, 1776. After voting on that congress then debated, wrote and revised the declaration of independence and finally approved it on July 4. What I found interesting was that John Adams thought that July 2 would be infamous and that the succeeding generations would honor the anniversary of the nations’ independence and he was right about it being an honored for years to come but he chose the wrong date. The July 2 date was not known to most Americans in 1776 since the approval for independence was a closed session of congress; everyone went by the date signed on the declaration.

From the very first anniversary of our nations independence it has been celebrated; which has included everything from thirteen gun salutes to double shots of rum for General Washington’s soldiers in 1778 and today we line streets with flags and shoot fireworks in time with patriotic songs. If not for these courageous founding fathers we would be a completely different nation. Those men risked everything they had like our military does every day in order to make a better future for generations to come. I think this holiday we all deserve a double shot of rum for each and every American who gets to celebrate this holiday just as Samuel Adams, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin and many others did so long ago!

This time last year for us Anthony was in the sandbox. My mom was visiting us in California and we decided to head down to meet the Angela & Justin at the beach where Camp Pendleton puts on their annual festivities and fireworks display. Overall it was an unusually overcast day with spurts of sun darting through a very thick cloud bank. It was too cold for the adults except Angela who is a big kid at heart.  She played all day with our girls even in that chilly Pacific Ocean.  Justin, mom and I just read, relaxed and talked through all the comotion of the day.  All in all it was an exceptionally relaxing day and we all had a great time just being together. Unexpectedly Anthony was able to call me to check in on how we were, give me a new care package list and to see how the day was going since he knew it was around a holiday. Getting that phone call as most of you know is such an adrenaline rush you just feel giddy and like a cop interrogating a witness all at the same time. I was so ecstatic he’d called and then immediately turn to the barrage of questions like “do you need anything at all? Hot cheetos, socks, hot sauce packets, ect?” He didn’t really know if he’d called at the right time frame or day but they let him call so he did. He sounded tired but he sounded content in hearing our voices from thousands of miles away. He told me of all of the weight he had lost in just a short time of being there, how the weather was and how he was getting the hang of being out in that environment very quickly. We did our normal routine of the terrible Afghanistan phone connection hang ups and after the conversation said our, “I love you’s and talk to you soon love’s…”

All of the questions and answers in the world could not have predicted what would happen only 27 days later or the next set of questions after that phone call. If I would have known then what I know now I don’t know what I would have done but you never know when that last phone call is going to be your last phone call. It’s a hard to shake thoughts of ‘what if’ from your thoughts and nightmares looking back sometimes. What if he his guardian pack wouldn’t have saved him from being shot that first time in the back? What if the smoke canister wouldn’t have shielded him from being shot the next time in the back? What if it wasn’t just his leg and the sniper wouldn’t have missed a center mass or head shot? WHY did Anthony keep getting up and didn’t just stay down the first or second times he was shot?! We just know it could have been something extremely more serious than what he’s going through now and are just so humbled knowing what could have occurred that day.
In the last year Anthony’s injury and experience has changed our lives so much! We went from a distant young married couple who knew each other but not really to very close soul mates, confidants and companions. After something so devastating you either close yourself off emotionally to others or cherish life more than ever and love in a whole new perspective and I am so very thankful that we’ve both taken the latter of the two options. This entire year has been a learning curve for the both of us. It has been a test of our strengths and weaknesses regarding his physical abilities, mental preparedness for setbacks and being humble enough to let me take care of him. He was able to let me be his advocate and fight for him but not degrade or disrespect him. We just fell in love with each other all over again by really understanding the person you knew you loved for years but may have let life wedge in between somehow. There were times and still now where I wanted to throw my hands up of the whole situation when people tried to push their way in and screw everything up that we’d built up together. It takes so much trust, love and commitment to have someone by your side through literally thick and thin and our limits were tested on more than one occasion. As with anything worthwhile being able to overcome and persevere through such life altering challenges takes time, patience and plenty of alcohol. As a small bonus for me Anthony was on heavy medication when he first got home so I didn’t have to share my wine and White Russians with him!

Learn from our almost last phone call and live this 4th of July and everyday like it is your last, cherish the little things you may overlook and be madly in love with the person you have by your side because there are many who don’t get to and will never get that chance again. Happy Independence Day!

Happy Father's Day!

The very first and most influential man in my life has been and will always be my father so I will go into a little bio of how his life has affected mine. Leo “Olen” Kadura was born February 10, 1933 to parents who had what seemed like a dozen children. One thing they my grandparents were though was resourceful and business savvy. My dad told me about one occasion where my grandparents didn’t have any money to replace livestock so my grandfather placed his cow on the railroad tracks so the government would be forced to pay for another cow since they disabled theirs. Now whether that story is true or not we may never know but it was fascinating to me upon hearing it for the first time since times just are not that way anymore. Who would think to put a cow on railroad tracks to get a cow exchange?

Like all parents mine just wanted their children to have a better life than themselves and did their very best to raise us 6 kids. My parents had given their heart and soul for decades to the original 5 Kadura children. Yet without hesitation and absolutely unexpectedly at the age of 50 and 40 my parents selflessly adopted me. I was told I was a very beautiful baby and my mother loved me from the start. Since I was adopted from birth I never looked or look at my parents as adopted they are my family and will be forever. The Kadura’s and Little families have molded me to be who I am no one else and it’s good knowing I was chosen and wanted. My aunt to this day calls me angel maybe in some way I saved my parents just when I needed saving. So here they go once again attempting to set up another child for success to be the best person I can be.

When I was growing up my mom worked so I was either at the sitters as an infant and toddler or at school then with my dad afterwards. My dad and I were inseparable for a long time during my childhood. I remember my momma trying desperately to wean me off of the bottle and one time in particular daddy was cooking something in the kitchen and I wouldn’t stop bothering him so he turned on the tv to Fraggle Rock very loudly as if to drown out my whining. I guess he could still hear me when he went back into the kitchen into his hiding spot and found a bottle for me so I’d be quite, leave him alone and watch tv. He thought it was so funny and I don’t think he ever got caught. I always knew from then on we’d be close. I went to his job sites with him to oversee his workers, got him Lone Star beer from his Igloo cooler, learned how to cut grass his way, bbq brisket, go fishing and make homemade bbq sauce. When we were all in my brother’s wedding the videotape captured it but people will also tell you I used to walk like my dad. He’d even take me to my sisters in the country and if she wasn’t home I’d wait while him and my brother would squirrel hunt.

In my adult years I began to think how as he aged and I wanted to learn and know more about his and moms life but also noticed how his health deteriorated. I resented it to a degree because his aging came at a time when I seemed to need him more than ever in my life. Slowly he stopped working, stopped driving and then stopped getting out of the house all together. I wanted my girls to know the stern yet kind and brutally honest man I’d cherished as a child. When he passed away in September 2008 I got to see how much his life impacted others in another significant way. He had more visitors and condolences in our small town than anyone else I’d ever been to a funeral for. The seats were packed and the procession to the gravesite was heartwarming to just witness how so many people loved and respected my father. Yet I was still upset and confused at the entire situation. Grieving in pain and selfishly I wanted him to still be around for my mom and family. I expected him to be invincible since he’d always been my hero and even though he’d beat it once the cancer proved otherwise the second time around. We miss him more than we ever could have imagined and will remember him always. We still laugh about his random and not always true stories like how he learned to cook in prison and how he got his nickname killer kawauski. Thankfully the peace of mind I have now is that my mom is doing well, my girls got to know him for a while and he met, approved of and became really good friends with my husband before he passed.

We’ll never replace someone who took up so much of our hearts. We will continue to remember how our lives once were when he was here with us.

Today we celebrate Fathers Day and no matter if he’s your step father, adopted, natural or biological father honor him. If he is across the street, across the world or in the sandbox remember him. If he is in heaven honor, remember and think of him always as you should every day. After all you wouldn’t be where you are or the amazing person you are today without his influence, love and guidance. To my amazingly strong husband who deals with 3 females on a regular basis thank you for being the love of my life and my girls’ most influential role model and best male role model in their lives. To my dad, there are and never will be words to say sorry for my teenage and young adult years but also thank you for everything you’ve ever done to make me feel safe, secure and confident about being who I am. I can’t imagine the hilarious things you’d say about the Marine Corps and what my life has evolved into but I hope I make you and mom proud.

Happy Fathers Day!

Toby Keith - American Soldier

Tim McGraw If You're Reading This

Memorial Day

Memorial Day for most Americans meant great shopping deals, the start of summer vacation season, fireworks, traveling, warmer temperatures, the Indy 500 and pool openings. Yet think for a second how you would feel if your father or brother had died in the war and people were out enjoying their time off and never for a second stopped to understand why they are off in the first place.

Memorial Day is a sacred United States federal holiday which remembers and honors service members who’ve died while in service to their country. This date itself has been changed over the years but is now observed on the last Monday of May. Originally it honored Union and Confederate soldiers following the Civil War. Three years after the Civil War ended the head of Union veterans established Decoration Day as a time for the nation to decorate the graves of the war dead with flowers. This day was chosen because flowers would be in bloom all over the country. The day of honor was extended after World War I for anyone who has died in all wars. Begun as a ritual of remembrance and reconciliation after the civil war, by the early 20th century, Memorial Day became the occasion for more general expressions of memory, as ordinary people began visiting the graves of their deceased relatives, whether they had served in the military or not. There are memorial services at national cemeteries all over the country for service members who’ve given the ultimate gift for our freedoms.

When I researched a little for this piece I found something I didn’t know. On every Memorial Day at 3 p.m. local time a long standing tradition encourages Americans to partake in a moment of silence to remember and honor those brave Americans who have died in wars. I think this is one of those small gestures in a huge impact kind of things. Imagine if everyone at 3 p.m. would have stopped whatever they’re doing to just be silent and still for our service members and their sacrifice. It’s an excellent way to honor and show respect to those brave individuals who gave up so much for you and me.

Also if no one noticed the flag was raised briskly to the top of the staff and then solemnly lowered to the half-staff position, where it remained only until noon. It was then raised to full-staff for the remainder of the day. The half-staff position remembers the more than one million men and women who gave their lives in service of their country. At noon their memory is raised by the living, who resolves not to let their sacrifice be in vain, but to rise up in their stead and continue the fight for liberty and justice for all. This also lets us keep in our minds the ones who are deployed now in harm’s way now and in the future.

For most of us with any form of military influence in our lives this day means so much more than beach days and fireworks. Our lives are saturated in patriotism daily so the majority of us on bases across the world take the time out to pause in reverence out of respect, honor and admiration. We remember those who we know who are at war in harm’s way constantly at this very second fighting for us back in the states. We remember those who’ve died in past wars and made it possible for the military men today to enlist and serve their country as they did long ago. We remember those who we know who’ve recently lost their lives in the war which make this lifestyle all the more real to us. All of these outstanding and courageous service members who gave their lives in support for this country do so willingly to protect our country’s future. This unconditional commitment to duty and country is why I love the military life; cherish my husband, our Marine family & the Marine Corps.

--I couldn't write this without putting in here a small portion for the families. It is hard enough being a family member or loved one of a service member and having them wounded, ill or injured is even harder. Yet for those who've lost that second half of themselves completely is something no one can fathom or imagine unless you've been there. My heart aches for these wives, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, of these service members. As the days go by I hope for peace of mind and heart knowing you'll meet again someday. For my friend who lost her Marine in the war almost a year ago I love you and can only tell you that you are a brave and courageous who has a very loving and adoring guardian angel watching over your family. Whether you know it or not you have the strength that most women cower from in times of struggle and grief. You are so loved and have such a circle of affection and support around your family. I hope you’re getting stronger every day and can trust you’re gaining knowledge, strength, support and comfort from other Gold Star wives.

Trace Adkins - Arlington

Chicago/Brooke Army Medical Center

We’re back from Chicago and Texas! It can be hectic and a little crazy getting ready to go on trips with kids so I apologize for not writing as I should have. My house looks like a tornado blew through here between the dogs, kids and husband. The one thing I can say is that I finished washing clothes from both trips the other day. It never ends though. There’s enough junk mail, newspapers and school paperwork to save the entire rainforest in my opinion. Nothing is vacuumed or dusted but I’ve been wiping down stuff and cleaning the kitchen for what seems like all day and part of the night. How does it get so dirty? I leave when it’s decent and when I come back its filthy! Typical.

Chicago was interesting! LOL! Everyone went once but I went twice; once to just see the sights, see a Navy Graduation and get the lay of the land. The second time was just this past weekend for about 36 hours to actually see my cousin in her Navy graduation from bootcamp. She’d gotten a stress fracture before we’d gone the first time around but we decided to go anyways since the days off were already scheduled and everything was a go. Whoever named Chicago the “Windy City” was not exaggerating. It’s breezy here in Oceanside due to the constant Pacific Ocean breeze. We were NOT prepared for that weather and were reminded of that fact as soon as we stepped out of the rental car and onto the streets of downtown Chicago. This second time around Chicago wasn’t windy at all and I swore US Airways dropped me in Texas because it was in the 80’s when I got off that plane. The next day it was in the 40’s by the time graduation was over so it was never boring weather wise. LOL! We’re very proud of our new Sailor and know she’ll do great in Engineering school. Marine Corps & Navy = interesting holiday get togethers. LOL! 

Our Texas medical trip surprisingly was a lot of fun and very laid back. We drove all around the hill country and back to Houston like we were truck drivers! The kids and puppies stayed with our family in Houston and the doctor appointments were in San Antonio which isn’t too far away. Somehow we crammed in a lot of activities in such a short time. We got to go to some of our favorite Texas restaurants like Whataburger, Shipley’s Donuts, Taco Cabana, Casa Ole, Bill Miller BBQ, and Jacinto City Café. Being able to see and socialize with relatives we hadn’t seen in quite a while is always so great!

Anthony and I got to meet some really great people at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio. This base is home to a very prestigious hospital that has a separate clinic called Center for the Intrepid that specializes in helping those who were wounded and have limb limitations. On day one we got our bearings on this new base, checked into the Army database system, found the Marine Corps area, and as an example if he had broken a leg he was casted for a tester brace. We went back on another day after the tester had been molded for fitting. The doctor needed to see where adjustments would need to be made to accommodate his leg shape, range of motion inabilities with Anthony’s goals in mind for physical activities and exercise. We got to see online the previous case studies where the Soldiers and Marines would walk with no braces, their prior brace and then this new dynamic one. Seeing was believing and I still couldn’t believe it! With no brace and even their original brace these guys were cautiously walking slowly with an obvious limp. When placed into this new dynamic bracing system which is not bulky, heavy or binding these heroes were able to perform fast agility movements where there were none before, climb mountains and not just pass but excel in PFT’s & CFT’s. We were only there a little over 2 weeks but we’ll be back in June and July for a whole month for his physical training with this new brace so he can learn how to walk, run and function in this brace. It will be like nothing he has experienced yet. We are just so blessed and thankful for this opportunity and hope that others have outstanding doctors and case managers like ours who will offer this brace to them to help improve their life.

What has improved my life as the matriarch of this family is once again the people who have stuck by us through all of the changes, ups and downs and irregularities in our life over the past year. Everyone is always busy it’s just part of this life. Everyone helps someone in their own way whether big or small. While in Houston I got to see my friend from grade school in Texas which I consider my sister since we’ve known each other so long. Even though we don’t see each other everyday or talk our conversations are just as we do speak everyday and are so deeply meaningful. I love that girl to death and will always be here for her no matter what. As far as this time zone; I’ve been under a lot of added stress here lately and no matter what’s going on in their lives a few ladies have made the effort to help us out even when I didn’t ask for it and more than ever expected. They may not know it themselves but somehow they’ve been able to pop up at the just the right times when I needed an ear, a pick me up, a shoulder, or a helping hand. I’ve said it before it does take a village to not only raise a child but to thrive being a Marine loved one. Having friends and loved ones is that special incentive to get me through the day sometimes when nothing else is going right. The ladies and their husbands enrich our lives and make it so we don’t have to stress as much about the little things in life. Our biological families may not be here physically but we do have each other on this base and I am thankful for that. All of my friends though have been this outstanding and I wish I had more time and the resources to catch up with all of them because friendships are very important. Even though I know it’s impossible I wish this atmosphere never changed and it was always family oriented and inspiring. When it’s good it is very good and when it’s not gelling it is all jacked up. Thankfully the amazing women in my shoes in one way or another have been here (but are always still here via FB) or are here to help get each other through the not so good parts.

We go back to Texas soon and the husband can’t wait to endure this physical therapy at BAMC to get back on track with the Marine Corps career he always wanted. Anthony signed up for a marathon on base and we are looking forward to doing more in the near future for Wounded Warriors Battalion and with the Marine Corps.

Becoming a Marine Mom

Becoming a Marine Mom

The above link is from the Marines.mil website thought I'd share for my Marine Parents friends.  Enjoy.

response to the comments from Marine Parent Support Group...

"I don't know if the parents can see the comment and get my response so I'll put it on here as well..."

-----------------------------

I don't know why these comments didnt come to my BB so I'm kind of sad.

Thank you so much for allowing us to come and speak at your meeting. We had so much fun and never knew it would be such an eye opening and heartwarming experience that would push us to try and help out more. I'm amazed and inspired by all of the family members everyday but even more so by the parents for being so brave and courageous despite the distance from their Marine's base and still being involved in one way or another.

These FRO's jobs are specifically to inform you and have you 'ready' for deployments, trainings and anything that should come your way. They are your 'chain of command' when you need something answered and your Marine isn't around. They regularly have events such as get togethers, blogs, Facebook pages for the battalion, Seminars, classes, ect that don't necessarily need to be attended. Alot of them are geared towards just wives but you are encouraged to attend or even volunteer to help out. So please ask for notes from meetings, information to be passed via secured email, hotline, facebook page, ect. The more you know ahead of time whether or not you need it in the future will establish that relationship and bond early on. If you don't need it and move on to another FRO in another battalion you can take that invaluable knowledge and information as to how you like to be included, informed and involved.

*Also please be aware that some of these battalions are trying more and more to include parents so inquire as to whether there is a "Parent Advisor" available. He/She is there specifically for parents and corresponds via Facebook, Email and phone to organize get togethers before homecomings, coffee meetings, informative notes, ect.

Stay strong ladies and we are always here for you if there are ever any questions, comments, or concerns. Nothing is ever too silly, simple, or small to not know about when it comes to your Marine and the Marine Corps so advocate for them and your family.

We do plan on coming back to speak to your group again and to the MarineParents group that Angie is associated with. We loved speaking to you all and hope to start a group here for the parents in Southern California area as well as in our hometown of Houston, Texas.

Marine family support group...amazing folks!

We went on a trip to Illinois this past week. My cousin was supposed to graduate from the Navy’s only Boot camp in Great Lakes but sadly was injured. We ended up just seeing the sights and sounds of Chicago which was about 40 miles away. We weren’t prepared for the cold. Personally I thought it was windy like Oceanside is breezy. There is always a constant breeze here because of the proximity to the ocean well let me forewarn whoever makes any plans to ever visit there. Bring scarves, thick jackets and gloves! This time of year there was not freezing but felt like it due to the tropical storm like winds! When they say Chicago is the “Windy City” the words are not exaggerated by no way shape or form! 

Thankfully we’ll get to go back because this trip was all about getting lost. Blackberries and Droid phones were useless against the countless construction projects and detours which lead us to nowhere most of the time. We wandered the cityscape which by the way is the size of 4 Houston skylines. It is long and full of one ways and the whole reason I could never find my Gino’s Deep Dish Pizza!! Man versus Food places next time guys so be ready!

On our first night in Great Lakes we went to dinner with the Kleinfelders’ who are parents of a Marine who went to Afghanistan with Anthony. They volunteer with many supportive organizations that support the Marine Corps & deployed troops overseas. Angie invited us to speak at a Marine Parents support group to talk about Wounded Warrior & the Family Readiness Program. We didn’t really know what to expect since its family members and we’ve talked to more Marines and wives than moms, dads and family members.  There was supposed to be a recruiter there just going over uniforms but he couldn’t make it so we were more than happy to step up.There were no words to describe our experience though other than absolutely inspirational and motivating.

What we witnessed is amazingly resilient families from all over the 'time in' & MOS spectrum of the Marine Corps get together, talk out issues and lean on each other for support mentally and emotionally. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard it said and then said it on here that it takes a village to help each other come to terms with this life and not just survive it but thrive in it. These families have proved that logic absolutely right and have inspired Anthony and I to seek more of these groups out. We’d love to help wherever possible and these outstanding parents just wanted to know more about the Marine Corps. We can see now that there is that need for more involvement and information now more than ever. Whether it’s knowledge of the Marine Corps history, bootcamp information, uniform names, rank structure, MOS’ or even different programs that help parents & family members the need is there and should not be set aside or overlooked. We got to speak with girlfriends, sisters, soon to be and step fathers, mothers and even poolees. Families from airwing and marsoc positions to sawgunner and grunt units it was just heartwarming. We were told how appreciated we were for coming out and speaking but we got so much more from just saying a few words than this group of family members will ever know. Angie is so great for exposing us to something new and absolutely motivating. Information and knowledge about this lifestyle is the key to being able to take things as they come and be stronger throughout what comes our way. Poor poolees & first time families who were there; we apologized for maybe talking over their heads & talking about not so fun things but hopefully they see the reality of the situation yet also know that there are strength in numbers. Hopefully when we go back again we’ll get to go to another meeting and maybe talk about the bootcamp experience, care packages or deployments in general. LOL!

For those of you who were at that meeting let me give you some more information that not everyone may have heard or didn’t get a chance to ask me about. 

It is easy for a Marine to say that he’s prepared his family fully for deployments & everything that comes along with this lifestyle and sometimes they believe that. There is always something to learn though regardless of whether you’ve been around military since birth or just this past year. In all actuality I believe the Family Readiness Program should take a more active approach to introducing families who aren’t close to a base like most wives are to all aspects of how this lifestyle will impact them & their Marine for years to come.

1) I encourage all of you once again to find your FRO and contact information for your company Family Readiness Assistants (FRA’s)

2) Check your units Facebook page, unit website, twitter page regularly

3) If the unit is deployed call the hotline for information that the unit website may not have (or even try calling the unit their attached to); google alert information to be sent to your email or smart phone the RCT & unit name so you’ll have the latest information available not always 'officially released or confirmed' from the unit

4) Email your FRA regularly to keep that bond there for either the homecoming or even the next workup and deployment

5) If you haven’t already look into taking the L.I.N.K.S. for Parents online course it has invaluable information that can and will be used throughout the entire course of your Marine’s career

6) Read the Marine Corps Times regularly & keep in tune even if its sporadically with Marine Parents & the other organizations which provide forums and chat rooms

http://www.usmc-mccs.org/upfrp/links.cfm?sid=fl&smid=3

How can Family Readiness Program help me?

The Family Readiness Program assists the families of deployed Marines and Sailors in several ways, including:

1. Keeping you informed. While the units are deployed, the Family Readiness Program is the means by which families receive all official messages from the command. Heard that the MEU is leaving early? Coming home late? Somewhere dangerous? If you want the true scoop, go to your Family Readiness Assistant as they will have the latest information direct from the unit and can help dispel any rumors. This way, you don't have to rely on the lieutenant's brother's girlfriend's nephew for information on the MEU.

2. Providing the voice of experience. Family Readiness Assistants know the ins and outs of military living, and possess the knowledge to help other families through the difficult deployment period. In addition to their life experiences, they receive extensive training on the programs and services available to military family and are eager to pass this information on.

3. Information Referral Services. Looking for a way to get involved with other spouses with children or similar interests? Your designated Family Readiness Assistant will gladly refer you to the endless resources that are made available to military families.

4. Family Readiness. The Family Readiness Program’s number one mission is to enhance family readiness for the deployment, and does so by creating programs, readiness packets, and social events designed to make the separation caused by deployment a little easier to bear.

5. A support system. Remember, you are not alone. As military families, we are part of a unique community and in a profound way - we are a family unto ourselves. Any problem you may be facing has no doubt been met and overcome by another family member and the Family Readiness Program provides the means for their experience to benefit you.

http://www.mccscp.com/home/Files/pdf/Family_Services/Downloads/LINKS%20for%20Parents%20Guide.pdf