Thursday, March 24, 2011

Coming Home/Army Wives...

Does anyone else love Coming Home like I do?!  Ever since I first saw my first homecoming I was in awe and thought that these emotions and feelings should be on display for the world.  (Guess I should have had that copyrighted huh!)  It is amazing though!  The surprise ones are the best just the look on the kids face is priceless.  I know last year a lot of our guys got the option to come home early from the MEU port in Hawaii and several surprised their wives by being at home a week earlier than expected.  The facebook postings had a lot of us in tears.   All Homecomings have this magical, loving and exhilarating vibe about them even seeing the ones that are on a tarmac or at a waiting area on concrete are all still special.  I’m glad that someone had the bright idea to put this on film for everyone to view!

So far I absolutely love this season of Army Wives!  Like so many other ladies who cannot wait for Sunday’s episodes because I too am addicted.  For some reason I felt like in past seasons it has been off and one sided at times and kind of unrealistic in ways.  This is a good starting point as a sneak peek into the lives of real wives in the military. 
 
I can’t speak for Army of course and it may be exactly their lifestyles but a bit glamorized up for tv but I notice the similarities to life here which is nice.  I like how they seem to be linked to each other regardless of rank.

To go off topic a bit there is still that invisible hierarchy there for wives and in some instances people take it very seriously.  I see the point for it and in the Old Corps I would have never been allowed to mention being in the same bridge club or family readiness group as the highest ranking officers or senior enlisted’s wives.  I understand that they have a lot of responsibility on their shoulders to be the socialites of the Marine Corps, as well as role models and mentors for the entire junior enlisted regardless of whether they want to or not.  I am thankful to be a part of the newer edition though so that I can learn from others experiences and make great friendships with these women who’ve come before me.  I hope to be in their places one day so it’s good to learn a little ahead of my time to be prepared.

Back to Army Wives, these wives like I’ve talked about before have this bond that no one but them can understand.  They are each other’s lifelines for support, information, know the risks and dangers yet still unconditionally love these men.  It can be extremely hard to maintain jobs, kids and their schedules with extracurricular activities as well as the volunteer obligations and our own sanity with a smile on our face preparing care packages, balancing bills, maintenance on the vehicles and ourselves; video chats, letters, MotoMail, Google Alerts, family readiness information and events, deployment updates, and friend’s updates.  It’s a balancing act definitely but it is necessary to get through our everyday routine.
 
This show includes all of that though.  When the Col’s daughter passed away, grieving that kind of loss, the disappearing biological father come back to see his son one time, Pamela's divorce, reconcile, dating after divorce, where & how to move on afterwards, the fights that occur during deployment, the fights that occur because of the job while not deployed. 

If there isn’t clear communication and understandings of where each person stands in the military relationship feelings will get hurt, words will be misunderstood and fights, misunderstandings and long debates are bound to happen.  Outside opinions and feelings which stir the pot with possible good intentions but who are not in your situation to fully understand can and will try to put in their two cents. You have to know yourself, why you love your man and why you and he choose to maintain this way of life.  People will challenge these things and you have to be strong enough in yourself and your marriage to know he loves you, he loves his job.  His job is his passion and in his gut he honestly knows he’s helping others overcome adversity.  By maintaining his and your way of life back home you are helping him help others overcome adversity. It's hard but do not let anyone tell you differently!  Stand up and be the advocate for your family.

So Army Wives gets two thumbs up from me right now…with nearly everyone deployed it is pretty close to our lives including the teasers and breath holding cliffhangers.  Strong bonds, communication and mature understanding in the marriage lead to successful deployments.  Now as for Sunday…I wonder how this will play out..
 
 

Monday, March 14, 2011

change in momentum...


Goodness I didn't realize it had been nearly a month since my last post. Shame on me! I was distracted by amazingly addicting Girl Scout cookies and then booth sales.  I think I am still clinging onto a little bitterness after my last mini-vaca from Hell but baby steps right?!

So I am at this point now where there is a shift of momentum. I am not 100% of whether it’s a down or up shift but it’s definitely a shift. Either way I’ll find something to occupy my time but the thing with our lives is that they always are changing and schedules always get rescheduled so it’s just a balancing act. This happens from time to time in between the men's enlistments or lat moves. Either its a getting over the old command going to the new command, adjusting to the new command and spouses, not wanting to let go of everything back then, fear of change, lack of control, losing friends and starting over to gain new ones, adapting to new surroundings for yourself and children...the list goes on and on in the Marine Corps lifestyle.

It seems as if all my friends are moving (PCS’ing or got out completely), moving away or taking a huge step in their lives. My new friends are doing the same so that is not ideal and pretty sad to meet more outstanding women and then realize they wont be here very long. 

To top it off even though there's an upcoming deployment I don’t really partake in my unofficial “job” anymore due to unforeseen circumstances which I shall not mention until absolutely necessary so for now I will plead the 5th. Anthony’s doctor appointments are slowing down quite a bit and he’s just working out to the best of his ability so he can try to do a PFT and CFT in hopes the therapist will clear him for full duty again.

Maybe I’m just plain bored. I want to find a better way to give back I want to help wives and moms and anyone who’ll listen about advice on what to do, what not to do and how to prevent a lot of stress and heartache before, during and after not just Afghanistan but deployments in general. I believe being knowledgeable is half the battle. A few friends of mine are in the same boat so hopefully they’ll start blogging with me too to give a different insight into their lives.

This is all such a different road than Anthony and I were on just a few short months ago and it’s an adjustment phase but it will be like that for the next few months I suppose. So I’ll do what I do best I guess and adapt and develop a new routine. Walk the dogs in the morning, pick up after the kids and clean, surf the web a bit, watch stuff on DVR and when the kids get home then they’ll be homework time, dinner, baths and bed. It won’t always go as smoothly as written but I’m hopeful for some cookie cutter days for my sanity. Girl Scouts, Summer Camps, beach days and trips to Texas with everyone including our dogs will keep me going during the summer but what else? Any ideas? Hmmm…Volunteer, go to support groups, garden more, write more, online shop, fish more, watch more Bravo (Real Housewives...)or TLC (Cake Boss, My strange addiction, fatal attractions, Sister Wives..) or Travel shows like Anthony Bourdain's No reservations & Andrew Zimmerman's food show..hmmm…lol yep I'm addicted already!!!

What I do know is I need to venture out of my comfort zone more and get out of my shell. Go to more places, see more things, experience San Diego and all it has to offer than just this base. Even though I would like to show the kids a more patriotic side to our family with the Wreath Laying at holidays and MCRD Graduation ceremonies.  We really need to see Catalina Island, Coronado Island, as well as the Man vs. Food places here and Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles in Long Beach…lol. Anyone want to come with us?! Crap just forgot I gotta get on this California Mission project due...

Adapt and overcome ladies...cherish the little things and remember your friends along the bumpy and unknown road ahead..