can't believe it's been 3 years!

Time heals wounds.  Whoever said that is full of shit…lol. No not really but about half right.  I agree that it heals your heart by easing your grief but your mind is a whole other ocean of emotions.  When I sit back and think about the time that has come and gone since my dad has passed I think about the birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, life changes and everything that has occurred without him.  That gets me every time.   

Hell he would have never guessed that McCain would lose and we have the president we do.  Jokingly and sarcastically maybe but never in a million years would he have thought it would have came true. Ha! 

He would have loved to see my sister kick cancers ass considering he passed away from it.  Everything simultaneously was smashed together 3 years ago today; her diagnosis, daddy’s illness and then passing which was incredibly hard on all of us but no one more than my sister.  That’s enough stress to make anyone crumble but like always she showed grace, strength, and still is amazingly inspiring through it all. 

He would have been worried and excited to know I moved across the country.  He always had high hopes for me but we never thought I’d leave Texas ever!  He’d be surprised at how 3 years could completely change a persons’ life for the better.  I wish he could see my house, how my Chevy truck is still kickin’, how these ‘hippies and gold rush folks’ out here do more than surf and smoke pot all day like most Texans think and that they do have decent bar-b-que here.  I wish he could see my Wyatt Earp and Cody they love momma and I know daddy would have reluctantly loved them too. 

He would have never guessed my momma would have gotten on an airplane and lived to tell the tale!  She got on her first one to come and visit me in California and has been on the move ever since.  She’s accomplished so much and come a long way.  She misses her best friend and companion of 40+ years and to know a love of that magnitude then to let it go has to be the hardest thing a woman ever has to do.  Their fights, bickering, pinched butts, loving glances, sarcastic daggering glances, nicknames like “big butt” and the joking back and forth of their relationship balanced out the serious and not so serious times. 

We have such a huge family and it has gone through some definite changes since daddy passed some for the good and not so good.  If he were here he would have seen Brittany graduate high school, go to college, is a lifeguard and just a very beautiful young lady.  Brooke became an awesome violist, started high school, and is super smart with absolutely everything animals, she also is beautiful and looks a lot like Margaret as a teenager.  The animal changes Margaret’s had in her household daddy wouldn’t have been able to keep up with quite like myself but the big monster MoeMoe and licker Odie; none of us can forget.  Christopher’s out of college, doing extremely well in Dallas which is really great for a very smart and handsome young man he turned out to be.  Kyndel add a few more to her nest and settle down with a nice man who seems to really care about his kids and Kyndel.  Josh has followed in the footsteps of the Berner men by becoming an Engineer for the Merchant Marines which is amazing and has done and seen so many new things it’s unreal.  He will make many friends and many stories along this journey.  Christina and Jonathan both are doing so well in their jobs and families even though there’s always constant change going on.  Nevaeh and Amber have been through so much in their short years on this earth but they’ve come through it all with flying colors and are amazing little munchkins so smart and dingy at the same time; a little Texan and a little Californian.  He’d be shocked at how big they’ve gotten and how many big words Anthony & I don’t even know damn Californian teachers.  Melissa shocked the hell out of us all with her enlistment finally into the Navy.  Regardless of the obstacles she had to go through to get there, stay there and fight hard to continue on with her course of training she really showed her grit and commitment to her military service.  He’d definitely be amused that the Navy apparently just gives money away and that even though Melissa’s only been in 7 months she is almost at the pay grade Anthony is at with almost 5 years in! 

I think we all miss his presence and the conversations the most.  The daily numerous phone calls to just check on us and funny voicemails we all knew what he’d say, “hey crystal, this is your daddy…” lol. I knew his voice like the back of my hand but every voice mail was the same it made me laugh then but cry now.  I wish I could hear that voice again.  I think we all miss sitting and talkin’ for a long time about nothing.  Anything would do from the neighbors, the weather from present to past, his family, our family including the crazy ones; nothing was off limits to a good conversation.  He’d tell you what he really thought then what he thought others would think would be politically correct so if someone asked you could just quote the watered down version. LOL!  

I think we all really miss that the most and like I said time heals the grief but I doubt it will ever quell the memories in our mind. 

9-11

Like most of you I saw a status going around facebook recently about the mayor of NYC not inviting his cities finest first responders to their 9/11 ceremony but didn’t really believe it until the other day.  Holy crap was I wrong!  It just rubbed me the wrong way and I can't believe that this was an issue during a supposedly humble time of remembrance and unity.

Sitting in the emergency room with my daughter waiting on x-rays for a broken finger from a downhill skateboarding incident; the Bill O’Reilly show was on with Geraldo Rivera as a co-host.  They were doing a segment about Mayor Bloomberg’s justification for not inviting people to the official 9/11 memorial and dedication ceremony.  I found myself agreeing with O’Reilly since Bloomberg’s standpoint was ridiculous in saying that there’s no way to decipher which clergy, firemen and policemen would he invite if he had even extended the offer.  O’Reilly stated that basically out of respect and honor for the event and purposes for the ceremony itself that he should have invited some rather than none at all. 

These nameless faces are doing outstanding work day in andday out and the Mayor expects them to do those jobs but when it comes time to be graceful and show honor and appreciation for saving those that could be saved on that fateful day those nameless faces are slapped.  Interesting to ponder and maybe even compare to today’s military perspective in regards to this war.  The show was all jaw dropping to say the least.  I just cannot believe that there are people who would intentionally disregard the influence and presence of people whose main job is to be ready, open and available for the people.  Mayor Bloomberg I think you had a pretty sorry excuse and it was just a cop out.  Maybe you didn’t realize the real meaning of that ceremony and what it represents maybe you’ve become out of touch with that meaning.  I think maybe he shouldn’t have been invited to the ceremony and the Mayor at the time should have been the only one allowed to attend since he was so concerned with space and priority.  It’s like saying the Marines who were on the front lines in Iraq and Afghanistan are good at their jobs but really only a few are outstanding and we’ll have a huge gathering to give accolades and credit to only those who got press time and met the President. 

Either way the city is rebuilding at ground zero and so is the nation as a whole but to this day our men and women are out there laying their lives on the line for people who may or may not appreciate or understand it.  Politicians with absolutely no military experience or ties and the average clueless civilian expect and demand protection from this great nation but do they comprehend the impact on the service members and the loved ones who are by their side?  Do they understand what we go through physically, emotionally and mentally day in and out to keep sane for our Marines so that this country maintains its security?  My hope is that our nation does realize and sheds a tear for those innocent lives lost just by going to work one morning and for those wanting nothing more than to help the ones in trouble as well as those who fought and continue to fight for vengeance and reconcile to those lives lost.  Like cowards the terrorists like to hit people when they’re not looking.  Those civilians had no clue they were going into battle when they woke up that beautiful morning in NYC but the military sure as hell brought them a battle not too long after that; hell they asked for it. 

The phrase “adapt and overcome” can be used in many contexts and I think it applies here.  We’ve learned our lesson about having our guard down and have adapted and overcome in an attempt to make this country stronger and more efficient in the last 10 years.  Those who’ve tried to test us haven’t had their satisfaction and have seen the wrath of Old Glory herself.  Today think of those lives lost and who aren’t able to kiss their spouses, mothers and children ever again.  Today think of the families left behind to keep the lost ones’ memories alive and live on to care for their loved ones.  Honor and remember those who selflessly and willingly volunteered to help that fateful day and went unknowingly but selflessly running towards their death without hesitation.  And finally remember those who lost their lived since the beginning of this war and those who continue to fight with their lives for us and our freedom everyday in the sandbox. 

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands one nation under God indivisible with Liberty and Justice for all.

God Bless America!  Thank God for the military and especially the Marine Corps!