the latest books that are out about us...

So I’ve been reading the latest books out there regarding being married to the military and how to cope with our lives in this environment. All I can say is WOW! There are a few pretty good books out there! Most if not all are just very vague as to simply stating ‘military’ or 'soldier' and from their point of view being in just their husbands MOS but still vague and sometimes inaccurate pertaining to the masses. If you or someone you know isn't aware please inform them that our guys are Marines and NOT soldiers! Depending on how moto your Marine is he may rudely correct the unsuspecting individual of how strongly these men feel about going through the toughest boot camp around and a part of the few and the proud. Marines may be the smallest but have been a part of every major war requiring the strongest punch in the face and show of force for the United States or our allies.

I read where one author told her readers if they have a problem with their husbands pay and he is deployed that they should go to the NMCRS or Army equivalent to get money. My problem with this is that if any problems with pay go on for very long it will be a nightmare to unravel and correct so why wait? You can fix this! It happens and sometimes more than once. Your husbands pay is incorrect, off by a few hundred dollars but if you have pre-planned and gotten the POA’s prior to his deployment like the command instructs you to do so then this is a problem you can handle. Typically it’s just a human error and is pretty easily corrected if you’re close to a base. You’d go in, show them your military ID and POA and they’d check his LES and fix it in order for the following pay to be accurate. In case you don't have a POA your deployed husband can still fix it but it will just take longer and he'd have to hunt down a location to see the admin about the situation.

One author in particular really had some intense conversations going on in my household due to the choice of information she put in her book. She stated that you and your husband can choose his career plan that improve your chances of meeting family needs and goals, such as relocating to specific bases (whether its back home to your family or a spot in Hawaii) or limiting how often your service member is required to deploy. She also said that his career plan will determine the type of job he’ll have when he leaves the service which he will do no matter how often he wears his boots to bed. Also as fun as playing with stuff in the field is; is that infantrymen will not be able to find a variety of civilian jobs once they are no longer in the service and may have to settle for security or law enforcement. This is also the lady who referred to the traditions and abbreviations our husbands use on a daily basis as ‘really stupid acronyms and jargon’.

Well, where do I start with all of THAT? ARGHHHHHH!!! OHHH GOODNESS!!!! First of all, the official definition of a Career Planner for the Marine Corps is that he's under the directive of the CO of the unit and must be familiar with Marine Corps provisions, associated orders, publications, and directives. As well as they are responsible for accurate completion of all forms pertinent to career planning, to include the reenlisted contract (DD Form 4), Selective Reenlisted Bonus Program (SRBP) forms, the career planning contact record, extension agreement and appropriate Service Record Book (SRB) page 11 entries. He isn't a miracle worker, he doesn't answer to your husband and have to do what your husband says. There is no way to determine by any job whether your Marine is going to deploy or not. If he works as a postal or law clerk he pay not deploy as much as a grunt unit but he will eventually deploy. I would never say that your Marine isn’t going to deploy if he does any particular MOS because first and foremost they are all Marines so if they need the men they will take them.

Why would she say that they all leave the Marine Corps? So many Marines have come through and done 20, 30 and many moons ago even 50 years so don’t tell my husband that he’ll eventually get out because ‘they all do’! That’s CRAP! The old man of the Marine Corps who died while still in the Marine Corps at more than 70 years old would roll over in his grave hearing that ridiculousness! I am wondering if her husband was a grunt and wasn’t able to find employment after he got out or if her comments were just hear say and she needed to fill space in her book.

I was completely flabbergasted and kind of pissed off to read her book! Thank goodness it was only for informational purposes only. I don’t understand how she could say that the grunts aren’t able to find work in the civilian world if they choose to get out. Firstly these Marines take countless classes on everything from second languages and intelligence training to financial management so this information and knowledge could lead them anywhere. Not all who get out of the service intend to find work right away and have the option of going to school to better themselves and their employment options are only limited to their imagination! They could teach, instruct others in martial arts or weaponry, they could test weapons and equipment for the government, there are too many programs to mention that work with the military that they could apply for, ect. So come on now be for real and don’t rag on a specific MOS that you apparently aren’t completely involved in or are aware of. I took that one personal! Sorry, I think I am done venting and sticking up for those men and women who may or may not have known about this book and its inaccuracies!

My hope and prayer is to put out more clearly defined information which helps everyone that has anything to do with the Marine Corps a better understanding of why our lives are the way they are. As the Marine Corps have proved time and time again this organization is unique and is set apart from all the rest. So our traditions, views, organizations and ways of life are just as different. We are proud, patriotic, close knit and take care of our own at all costs. I’m off to go and do some more research!

How to Contribute/Care Packages during the Holidays

So the time has come to focus on the holidays! Christmas is typically the main event so I wanted to keep it limited to that for now. For my ladies and gentlemen who have loved ones overseas on watch this one is mainly for you. Besides keeping their presents under the tree for months or doing a Christmas in July because of the crazy care package ideas. Last two deployments I became known as the Care Package Queen since I sent one almost every week or every other week. It kept me busy, entertained and always thinking of something new to send him. I sent everything from the usual trail mix to specialized items like Covert Thread Socks (www.covertthreads.com) which specializes in every climate kind of socks and undergarments for military and law enforcement imaginable. The USPS Holiday delivery dates are about to be here so I hope everyone is prepared!

2010 USPS Holiday Timelines
Addressed To                          Express Mail®/ First-Class Mail®/Priority Mail/Parcel Post®
APO/FPO AE ZIPs 090-092  Dec 18/////////////Dec 10/////////////////Dec 10//////////Nov 12
APO/FPO AE ZIP 093           N/A//////////////////Dec 4///////////////////Dec 4////////////Nov 12
APO/FPO AE ZIPs 094-098  Dec 18//////////////Dec 10/////////////////Dec 10//////////Nov 12
APO/FPO AA ZIP 340           Dec 18//////////////Dec 10/////////////////Dec 10//////////Nov 12
APO/FPO AP ZIPs 962-966  Dec 18///////////////Dec 10/////////////////Dec 10//////////Nov 12


This time of year I love MarineParents.com since there is a Care Package Idea for every occasion. Need a way to warm them up, Patriotic theme, Christmas, Birthday, Halloween, Poker Party ideas or anything like that?! Go there! I will put some on here for ideas and I typically brainstorm off of their ideas posted. Some of these items is a given and I sent them more than once and on a pretty regular basis as he needed them. I used an Excel Spreadsheet so I knew what I sent the last time and didn’t send the same thing over and over or if he didn’t need it or like it then I would know not to send it again.

Warm Them Up:
Hot Tamales, flamin’ hot Cheetos, hot sauce, hot nuts, cajun spices, Fritos and Jalapeno Dip, Atomic Fire Balls, Cinnamon Gum, Red Hots, Hot-Flavored Planters Peanuts, Mini bottles of hot sauce, Cinnamon TicTacs, Icy/Hot Sore Muscle Rub, Crystal Lite Iced Tea, Andy Capp Red Hot Fries, Jalapeno Jelly Belly Beans, a Hot Rod magazine and Tums

Cold Season:
some cough drops, kleenex, tea, instant noodle soup, hot chocolate,

Christmas Ideas:
those little Christmas trees that they sell in all of the mail order catalogs (Lillian Vernon, Oriental Trading Company, etc.) that come with their own ornaments, mini Christmas stockings, candy canes, little candy bags of coal (bubble gum ones), the green and red M&Ms for the holidays, an Advent Calendar. There are also little pine trees (about 4" tall) that have a mineral solution on them. You add water to the little base, and these color mineral salts "grow" on the tree and look like colored snow and decorations. Of course this all depends on where your Marine/Sailor is stationed at because if he is out patrolling in Afghanistan he can’t carry a Christmas tree around with him but if he is on a MEU out in WESTPAC or somewhere then it might be easier for the guys to put up and maintain your holiday decorations.

And my favorite trick of the trade is Cake in a Jar!

CAKE IN A JAR
It's basically a mini cake inside of a mason jar. It arrives moist and fresh and tasty!
Here's how to make them: Get wide-mouth canning jars. You can find them at Walmart, other stores, or online. Boil the jars to sterilize.

1 package of cake mix or any cake recipe

1. Make the cake batter according to the instructions or recipe
2. Grease the jar by liberally spraying the inside with cooking spray
3. Fill jar no more than 1/2 way with batter
4. Place jars on cookie sheet on rack in the oven. Bake for 30-35 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean @ 400 degrees
5. While baking, boil jar lids in a pan of water
6. When cake is done, take on jar out at a time and cover with hot lid. Screw on jar ring tightening it slightly
7. The lid will seal as it cools. Listen to hear the "ping" as they seal.
8. As the cake cools, it will pull away from the jar slightly. That's ok; it just means that it will slide out of the jar easily.
9. DO NOT FROST cake in the jar! Send frosting along.
10. Make sure you wrap the jars well (bubble wrap is preferable, but wadded newspaper or clothing and other items will pad it too)

Don't forget to include a couple of plastic knives for the frosting and some plastic forks.

Even if you don’t have a Marine or Sailor overseas you can still contribute to their holidays at http://www.carepackageproject.com/sponsor.asp for only $22 or the USO at https://www.uso.org/DonateHolBrandCPDD2010.aspx?src=WH10CPDD10 for only $25. There are so many outstanding organizations who help our Marines and Sailors out there and even ones who are here injured like the Wounded Warrior Project and Semper Fi Funds.

I LOVE this time of year since everything cool is during this month! No seriously, my birthday, my kids’ birthdays, my husbands’ birthday, our anniversary and even my dog’s birthday is ALL in this month (Amber’s is 11/29 but still a Sagittarius lol)! Ladies if your husband is home have fun ordering him around for once and having him hang lights on the roof, get tangled up in the inflatable characters and try figuring out where to plug in all of the extenstion cords.  Deck the halls, sing Christmas carols, volunteer for the elderly or needy and just enjoy the family time together.  Hold your family a little tighter this year because there are many out there who won’t ever get a chance to do so. Hope I didn't miss anything on the list above! Merry Christmas everyone!

Holiday Tips…

With all of the upcoming hustle and bustle of the holidays I wanted to lend my support. There are many stressors during the holiday season and sometimes they can be even more stressful for those of us in a Marine Corps family. The holidays have been known to create stressful situations in all marriages and instead of enjoying each others company you end up feeling overwhelmed and in quite a few disagreements. So here are my tips for the upcoming craziness…I mean for the upcoming heartwarming, Christmas carolling out of a movie holiday season with your family.

For those of us with Marines away this season can be good and bad for us.  It is easier to get away with shopping like a maniac and decorating like Clark Griswold in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation with the men gone.  It can be tough though when it comes time for picture taking, Christmas card sending and Christmas morning.  But with a little planning, tough skin, and perseverance we manage to shop our way through this month and the next.  So make sure to get a really nice family picture done before he leaves on the deployment to use for your Christmas cards, plan out his care package and have the kids do some homemade drawings and then take pictures for him.  I also kept his gifts in the corner where the tree went and did Christmas whenever he came back even though it was in April! Stay close to family and friends and he will love the effort you are putting into keeping the home fires burning while he is away. 

It is officially SHOPPING SEASON ladies!!!!! Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Amazon.com and all these other exciting events happening are super exciting and our version of the Superbowl! Some of us brave the elements and the bad parking spots to endure pushing, ugly stares and a little cart rage to get the best deals of the year! It is easy to get distracted in these moments for the good and the bad. No one is perfect by no means at all. So it is important we do not take ourselves so seriously and let things happen more naturally. It is a fact men love football and any other manner of sports during this season. We shouldn’t expect them to really jump up and do show tunes when we mention hanging the Christmas lights or putting up huge plastic figurines outside. If they do not wake up singing Jingle Bells every morning like we do it is okay and shouldn’t be held against them in any way. At this time of the year we can be a little crazy so before we blow a gasket in order to keep our sanity intact remember to breathe and think before nagging or nit picking. We wouldn’t want to be criticized for the way we cook, chop celery, make pancakes and put our makeup on. I definitely think that during this sometimes stressful time of year that if we are more open to positive communication then it can increase our chances of a more enjoyable holiday season. Communicate, communicate, communicate!

Spending the holidays with your family, his or just stay at home?

So for the last few years this has been a bit of a hot topic in my household and I know we aren’t the only ones. Most Marine Corps families live on a base far from their home state so therefore going back “home” can be a huge stressor due to the tug of war factor. His family may not have any traditions and your family may have many. Please know that each of your families are important and it is just a time management issue that needs to be balanced in order to make each of you happy. You can rotate holidays and do Thanksgiving and his and Christmas at yours, maybe do half a day at one family and the other half at the others family or even try bringing each of the families together to do it all at the same time so no one is overlooked. It is good to get both of your options out in the open at first and any other expectations you have if you are indeed going to go through with this scenario. This way no one can point fingers and think something differently from the other. Both spouses need to agree on any other family get togethers, parties, nights out, lunches and dinners so that it is fair for everyone to see their side of the family as much as they’d honestly like to while you all are in town. Whenever the Marines get back from deployments sometimes they do not want huge parties or it can be a platform for an argument so just let the other spouse know so everyone is aware of each others comfort zones and feelings. Personally, we’re staying here. It is just a lot of traveling and craziness, we end up spending minimal amounts of time with particular family members and just be pulled in multiple directions and then go home tired, stressed out and argumentative. This year we want simply, fun, relaxed and just us. We’ll start our traditions here cut down our own Christmas tree, decorate it, put up our lights on our house, see the Del Mar lights and some holiday plays and just relax.

So basically:

1) Communicate effectively not just the Charlie Brown syndrome of “whah, whah, whahhh”

2) Discuss finances NOW so you know who you’re buying for, how much, the overall total

3) STICK TO THAT BUDGET

4) If overwhelmed find a way to let the other know you need a break to get out of there fast!

5) You don’t always have to be with family; go to a local landmark, go hiking or on a picnic just the two of you

6) Don’t let your parents or in-laws treat you or your spouse like a child! Respect them but if it's a problem let them know you are not the 10 year old you used to be and would appreciate the same respect you give them. 

7) Don’t drink too much alcohol

8) Don’t over-schedule, over-stimulate, or overwhelm yourselves which will just create stress

9) Have fun together, love each other, be patient and understanding

10) Be socialable, flexible, loving, compassionate, and again PATIENT!

Most of all enjoy yourselves and have a great time together with your family!!!

my Thanksgiving...

This is a really great evening!

The evening before family and friends get together to share each others company and time together is very humbling and a little crazy. It is fun though! I am trying two new recipes to add to my cheesecake collection. One of them will be deluxe pumpkin cheesecake and also a caramel apple cheesecake so we'll see how they come out tomorrow. :)

This time last year Anthony was off on the 11th MEU but I had a full house back here. It was really great everyone coming together despite his absence and showing their love and support. There was lots of food, laughs and wine to go around. This year will be completely different.

My mom is the only one here with us as far as Texas family goes. I'm the baby out of my siblings so she tends to spoil me. She's so great that she's left my brothers and sisters back home in Texas now two years in a row to be here with us. Now I know that the weather here in Southern California is better and that's enough of a good reason to be here but family means quite a bit to us. I am so thankful for her being here not only for myself but everyone in my house. The girls get spoiled and new toys, Anthony gets homemade Southern breakfasts and even Wyatt Earp gets more table scraps than usual! I think she brings us back to reality and centers us as individuals. I know she does. As I write this she is helping Amber play with her brand new FurReal puppy toy and scare the dog, she's showing Anthony how to get his new coffee pot set up and just enjoying relaxing and being here. I can only aspire to be half the woman and mother she is and always has been. She came to check on all of us. The last time she saw me I had just had surgery, Anthony was coming back from Afghanistan after getting shot and the girls were trying to finish out their summer off of school.

Thankfully Anthony is here this year for the holidays for the first time in a few years. We will get to smoke the turkey's together, continue to teach the girls about the real meaning of the holidays, put up Christmas lights, a real tree and dress the dog up in silly Christmas clothes. I am thankful for everything he has done for our family and will continue to do in the future. There are many families who will not be together, many who can not be together, many who wish to be together but can not due to many reasons. Please cherish the time you do have with you're family and loved ones. Keep our forward Marines and deployed service members in your thoughts and prayers until they all come home safely! Think of them when you brine your turkey, deep-fry it, fix your appetizers and side dishes then eat the pumpkin pie cheesecake. They are out there enduring things we can not imagine in the worst places on earth so say a prayer for their safety and speedy return home.

I hope everyone has an amazing day and weekend!!! For all of my Black Friday friends and family who are probably not going to sleep at all tonite I wish you happy shopping and hunting! Get there early friends!!! 

Happy Thanksgiving!

pick me up..

physical recovery is hard but acceptance and overcoming obstacles in the aftermath is the greatest accomplishment ever!!

Lately it has been a constant battle with not so great news. If it aint one thing its another right? Well I've had some recent inspiration in a seemingly neverending dark cloud of crap.

To put it lightly for some reason people aren't on the same page all the time. I'm not a malicious, standoffish, negative person so I don't understand these attributes especially when used to hurt others. Enough about me and other people's issues though!!

My husband is running...well a slow jog but still!! Holy snikes!! This is what he wanted and because of all the kind thoughts and prayers he is feeling great, has a new brace to assist him in walking and now jogging. There's still an extremely long road ahead and most of it we can't even see yet but we're hopeful. He's in good spirits and after all of these Marine Corps balls we are motivated and feeling pretty loved. So regardless of all the issues today is amazing and we are inspired...

My mom is here in SoCal, my girls are smiling and my old man and I are happy!!

Moto today!!

ASYMCA

So we're going to the Wounded Warrior Ball tomorrow night and it's been a little crazy here...

I did want to post a little bit about one of my favorite organizations around Southern California!  It has nothing to do the YMCA and there are no free gym memberships available through this organization. (The field houses on base have outstanding gyms and workout programs)

ASYMCA

“Since 1942, it has been the ASYMCA's mission to enhance the lives of Camp Pendleton Marines, Sailors, and their families by offering programs and services that focus upon Spirit, Mind, and Body. This philosophy strengthens families and encourages individuals to achieve their full potential. The ASYMCA works collaboratively with all Camp Pendleton commands to identify avenues of service for active duty personnel and their families which are not resident within the base’s existing functions and organizations. “– from their website…

There are different chapters of the ASYMCA (Armed Services YMCA) depending on which state you are in and base you are on or closest to. With that said there are many different programs and services that the ASYMCA’s may or may not all have; it all depends on the sponsors and communities in the area.

Some of the programs they offer are assisting with grade school child mentoring, childcare and toddler programs, transportation programs, junior enlisted families seeking leisure and family time. I’ve seen chapters that give away sporting event tickets, Father-Daughter Dances, and even family camps.

Our ASYMCA has a Ball Gown giveaway (which ladies line up sometimes two days before to pick out a free Gown for the Ball) as well as a Free Bicycle similar to the above Giveaway. They also sponsor the Operation Appreciation which is a huge event on Armed Forces Day on the beach. This is a great day for all since all service members get free food, entertainment, activities and carnival rides! I also sign my girls up for summer camp during this day as well! Secret Santa is a program specifically designed to provide assistance for E5 and below with children. This is another really great program.

http://www.camppendletonasymca.org/index.html

http://www.militaryymca.org/

Most if not all of the chapters have their own websites, twitters and Facebook pages. After registering to become members or liking their sites they can all keep you up to date on all events and special programs going on.

Enjoy looking through all of the awesome events! Pics will come after the ball probably on Saturday!

Deployment Tips...

We only really feel alone when we’re left with our thoughts and insecurities. None of us are made of stone, brick or some superhuman material which makes us forget our sorrows and go on with life while our Marines are away. We are not born equipped to deal with everything that the Marine Corps will throw at us especially more than a few times so survival, social and coping instincts are acquired during tough times.

As Marine wives we do stand on the tarmacs, piers and in parking lots waving goodbye to our Marines with a heavy heart. Each wife has this iconic moment where we feel like time has stopped and we’re just waving and waving until they’ve gone out of sight or can’t see us anymore. Not all of us have biological immediate family members close or even in the same state as your duty station. This reality hits home at least for me the second he gets orders for a deployment, then again when he leaves for the bus, dock or air station. You can and will feel alone. It is completely normal and can be a little more than overwhelming but try not to feel too down about the situation. This is when our friends and Marine Corps family comes in handy during those first few days when you can’t get out of bed, off the couch or out of the fridge. When you are so sad and depressed that you’re heart is literally breaking for fear of the unknown, lack of control and the many dangerous possibilities out there. We wait for our men not because we want to or have to. We wait for our men because we are mentally strong enough for this job. Not every lady is and that’s okay this is truly a hard pill to swallow but they love their jobs and us so we shouldn’t be the ones to come in between the two passions in their life. In the pit of our stomachs there’s a strong love, appreciation and affection for these amazingly masculine yet soft hearted individuals. There is just an overwhelmingly powerful and soul warming flow which is the strength that helps us get through those sometimes hollow days and lonely nights. The dark, cold and lonesome nights at times seem to never end and are enough to make wives forgo their own beds and sleep on loveseats, futons or with the kids.

Unless you intend to go back to your home state during his deployments which a lot of wives do we have to rely on each other for support. Moving back home can be a good idea to save the BAH money but you run the risk of being far away from your duty station and possibly having pay issues you can’t deal with, possibly not getting vital deployment information as well as not participating in events the command holds during the deployment.

Irregular communication wherever they are does not aid in the sad and lonely days at all. Now do not think your husband will call, email or write everyday or even every other day. This is one of the many misconceptions about deployments a lot of wives, girlfriends, mothers, and family members have. Some ladies have been known to try and guilt trip their husbands into calling them often and get upset whenever the Marines do not get to call, email or Skype as much as they believe he should. Ladies I know this is 2010 but as I was told many times before they are working and will call you the second they get a free moment to do so. Meu’s (ships) are a little more consistent but there is always going to be Rivercity wherever they are at. Rivercity is whenever there is an issue during the deployment and for everyone’s safety they cut off all communication outgoing until the issue has been resolved. There are hundreds if not thousands of people on any one deployment so a 5 minute phone call for every one of them is a strategic undertaking for the command over there. 

Hopefully you will get to have dozens of phone calls, emails, video teleconferences set up by the command team, and even possibly Skype with your Marine. I hope you learn any tricks of the trade (each ship, crew and command is different) very quickly and not at the very end of the deployment. I had Anthony email my text message service on my phone so it was more like texting and I’d get it almost immediately versus an email. After I realized how inconvenient it was to do this I ended up upgrading my phone to a blackberry so that I could get emails and phone calls without delay. Typically what we would do is I’d have to be quick but if I was awake we’d email back and forth. I once found out almost half way through a deployment that through Yahoo there is a video web chat option where the Marines could see us but we couldn’t see them. As weird as it feels to look at a black screen they felt comforted and a little closer to home.

The strong productive wives busy themselves and keep their positive fellow Marine Corps wives around to buy time. Deployments are full of emotional highs and lows and in the family readiness classes you will learn quite a bit about this. Even for seasoned wives at first you will feel inconsolable, rotten and just want to be glued to the floor. Find a source of strength to vent and relate to whether it’s MarineParents.com, Facebook Marine Corps pages or other Marine Corps wives websites. The main trick is after the initial shock and sadness set a goal (re-decorate your house, learn to sew, learn a new language, take a college course, dancing class, cooking/baking class or teach yourself, make a new margarita every night or taste a new wine, learn the different city parks or beaches in the area) but whatever you do just have fun and take everything one day at a time! 

 

 (Cheesecake making for the first time & My new flower garden during a deployment!!! :P)

After a little while your strength will increase and you’ll be able to function outside of the home without succumbing to tears at the first patriotic song that comes on the radio, overly exaggerated newscast, or phone call where someone mentions your Marine’s name. You’ll eventually find yourself in a groove and routine of cleaning, exercising, planning, shopping, kids, dog walking, gardening, wine tasting, cooking and learning new recipes, ect. About a month before he comes home you’re in high spirits and in homecoming mode of banner/sign making, flag buying, fridge stocking and deep cleaning. He gets here and you’re on top of the world in another honeymoon phase and so in love. You realize quickly he can’t load a dishwasher to save his life, he puts the ketchup in the pantry and not the refrigerator, makes insanely huge messes everywhere and doesn’t remember to put the laundry in the dryer but he is back home and ALL YOURS!! So on to a whole new routine and schedule. The emotional cycle begins again but it is all worth it because you have your man home and have survived this deployment!