Holiday Tips…

With all of the upcoming hustle and bustle of the holidays I wanted to lend my support. There are many stressors during the holiday season and sometimes they can be even more stressful for those of us in a Marine Corps family. The holidays have been known to create stressful situations in all marriages and instead of enjoying each others company you end up feeling overwhelmed and in quite a few disagreements. So here are my tips for the upcoming craziness…I mean for the upcoming heartwarming, Christmas carolling out of a movie holiday season with your family.

For those of us with Marines away this season can be good and bad for us.  It is easier to get away with shopping like a maniac and decorating like Clark Griswold in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation with the men gone.  It can be tough though when it comes time for picture taking, Christmas card sending and Christmas morning.  But with a little planning, tough skin, and perseverance we manage to shop our way through this month and the next.  So make sure to get a really nice family picture done before he leaves on the deployment to use for your Christmas cards, plan out his care package and have the kids do some homemade drawings and then take pictures for him.  I also kept his gifts in the corner where the tree went and did Christmas whenever he came back even though it was in April! Stay close to family and friends and he will love the effort you are putting into keeping the home fires burning while he is away. 

It is officially SHOPPING SEASON ladies!!!!! Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Amazon.com and all these other exciting events happening are super exciting and our version of the Superbowl! Some of us brave the elements and the bad parking spots to endure pushing, ugly stares and a little cart rage to get the best deals of the year! It is easy to get distracted in these moments for the good and the bad. No one is perfect by no means at all. So it is important we do not take ourselves so seriously and let things happen more naturally. It is a fact men love football and any other manner of sports during this season. We shouldn’t expect them to really jump up and do show tunes when we mention hanging the Christmas lights or putting up huge plastic figurines outside. If they do not wake up singing Jingle Bells every morning like we do it is okay and shouldn’t be held against them in any way. At this time of the year we can be a little crazy so before we blow a gasket in order to keep our sanity intact remember to breathe and think before nagging or nit picking. We wouldn’t want to be criticized for the way we cook, chop celery, make pancakes and put our makeup on. I definitely think that during this sometimes stressful time of year that if we are more open to positive communication then it can increase our chances of a more enjoyable holiday season. Communicate, communicate, communicate!

Spending the holidays with your family, his or just stay at home?

So for the last few years this has been a bit of a hot topic in my household and I know we aren’t the only ones. Most Marine Corps families live on a base far from their home state so therefore going back “home” can be a huge stressor due to the tug of war factor. His family may not have any traditions and your family may have many. Please know that each of your families are important and it is just a time management issue that needs to be balanced in order to make each of you happy. You can rotate holidays and do Thanksgiving and his and Christmas at yours, maybe do half a day at one family and the other half at the others family or even try bringing each of the families together to do it all at the same time so no one is overlooked. It is good to get both of your options out in the open at first and any other expectations you have if you are indeed going to go through with this scenario. This way no one can point fingers and think something differently from the other. Both spouses need to agree on any other family get togethers, parties, nights out, lunches and dinners so that it is fair for everyone to see their side of the family as much as they’d honestly like to while you all are in town. Whenever the Marines get back from deployments sometimes they do not want huge parties or it can be a platform for an argument so just let the other spouse know so everyone is aware of each others comfort zones and feelings. Personally, we’re staying here. It is just a lot of traveling and craziness, we end up spending minimal amounts of time with particular family members and just be pulled in multiple directions and then go home tired, stressed out and argumentative. This year we want simply, fun, relaxed and just us. We’ll start our traditions here cut down our own Christmas tree, decorate it, put up our lights on our house, see the Del Mar lights and some holiday plays and just relax.

So basically:

1) Communicate effectively not just the Charlie Brown syndrome of “whah, whah, whahhh”

2) Discuss finances NOW so you know who you’re buying for, how much, the overall total

3) STICK TO THAT BUDGET

4) If overwhelmed find a way to let the other know you need a break to get out of there fast!

5) You don’t always have to be with family; go to a local landmark, go hiking or on a picnic just the two of you

6) Don’t let your parents or in-laws treat you or your spouse like a child! Respect them but if it's a problem let them know you are not the 10 year old you used to be and would appreciate the same respect you give them. 

7) Don’t drink too much alcohol

8) Don’t over-schedule, over-stimulate, or overwhelm yourselves which will just create stress

9) Have fun together, love each other, be patient and understanding

10) Be socialable, flexible, loving, compassionate, and again PATIENT!

Most of all enjoy yourselves and have a great time together with your family!!!

my Thanksgiving...

This is a really great evening!

The evening before family and friends get together to share each others company and time together is very humbling and a little crazy. It is fun though! I am trying two new recipes to add to my cheesecake collection. One of them will be deluxe pumpkin cheesecake and also a caramel apple cheesecake so we'll see how they come out tomorrow. :)

This time last year Anthony was off on the 11th MEU but I had a full house back here. It was really great everyone coming together despite his absence and showing their love and support. There was lots of food, laughs and wine to go around. This year will be completely different.

My mom is the only one here with us as far as Texas family goes. I'm the baby out of my siblings so she tends to spoil me. She's so great that she's left my brothers and sisters back home in Texas now two years in a row to be here with us. Now I know that the weather here in Southern California is better and that's enough of a good reason to be here but family means quite a bit to us. I am so thankful for her being here not only for myself but everyone in my house. The girls get spoiled and new toys, Anthony gets homemade Southern breakfasts and even Wyatt Earp gets more table scraps than usual! I think she brings us back to reality and centers us as individuals. I know she does. As I write this she is helping Amber play with her brand new FurReal puppy toy and scare the dog, she's showing Anthony how to get his new coffee pot set up and just enjoying relaxing and being here. I can only aspire to be half the woman and mother she is and always has been. She came to check on all of us. The last time she saw me I had just had surgery, Anthony was coming back from Afghanistan after getting shot and the girls were trying to finish out their summer off of school.

Thankfully Anthony is here this year for the holidays for the first time in a few years. We will get to smoke the turkey's together, continue to teach the girls about the real meaning of the holidays, put up Christmas lights, a real tree and dress the dog up in silly Christmas clothes. I am thankful for everything he has done for our family and will continue to do in the future. There are many families who will not be together, many who can not be together, many who wish to be together but can not due to many reasons. Please cherish the time you do have with you're family and loved ones. Keep our forward Marines and deployed service members in your thoughts and prayers until they all come home safely! Think of them when you brine your turkey, deep-fry it, fix your appetizers and side dishes then eat the pumpkin pie cheesecake. They are out there enduring things we can not imagine in the worst places on earth so say a prayer for their safety and speedy return home.

I hope everyone has an amazing day and weekend!!! For all of my Black Friday friends and family who are probably not going to sleep at all tonite I wish you happy shopping and hunting! Get there early friends!!! 

Happy Thanksgiving!

pick me up..

physical recovery is hard but acceptance and overcoming obstacles in the aftermath is the greatest accomplishment ever!!

Lately it has been a constant battle with not so great news. If it aint one thing its another right? Well I've had some recent inspiration in a seemingly neverending dark cloud of crap.

To put it lightly for some reason people aren't on the same page all the time. I'm not a malicious, standoffish, negative person so I don't understand these attributes especially when used to hurt others. Enough about me and other people's issues though!!

My husband is running...well a slow jog but still!! Holy snikes!! This is what he wanted and because of all the kind thoughts and prayers he is feeling great, has a new brace to assist him in walking and now jogging. There's still an extremely long road ahead and most of it we can't even see yet but we're hopeful. He's in good spirits and after all of these Marine Corps balls we are motivated and feeling pretty loved. So regardless of all the issues today is amazing and we are inspired...

My mom is here in SoCal, my girls are smiling and my old man and I are happy!!

Moto today!!

ASYMCA

So we're going to the Wounded Warrior Ball tomorrow night and it's been a little crazy here...

I did want to post a little bit about one of my favorite organizations around Southern California!  It has nothing to do the YMCA and there are no free gym memberships available through this organization. (The field houses on base have outstanding gyms and workout programs)

ASYMCA

“Since 1942, it has been the ASYMCA's mission to enhance the lives of Camp Pendleton Marines, Sailors, and their families by offering programs and services that focus upon Spirit, Mind, and Body. This philosophy strengthens families and encourages individuals to achieve their full potential. The ASYMCA works collaboratively with all Camp Pendleton commands to identify avenues of service for active duty personnel and their families which are not resident within the base’s existing functions and organizations. “– from their website…

There are different chapters of the ASYMCA (Armed Services YMCA) depending on which state you are in and base you are on or closest to. With that said there are many different programs and services that the ASYMCA’s may or may not all have; it all depends on the sponsors and communities in the area.

Some of the programs they offer are assisting with grade school child mentoring, childcare and toddler programs, transportation programs, junior enlisted families seeking leisure and family time. I’ve seen chapters that give away sporting event tickets, Father-Daughter Dances, and even family camps.

Our ASYMCA has a Ball Gown giveaway (which ladies line up sometimes two days before to pick out a free Gown for the Ball) as well as a Free Bicycle similar to the above Giveaway. They also sponsor the Operation Appreciation which is a huge event on Armed Forces Day on the beach. This is a great day for all since all service members get free food, entertainment, activities and carnival rides! I also sign my girls up for summer camp during this day as well! Secret Santa is a program specifically designed to provide assistance for E5 and below with children. This is another really great program.

http://www.camppendletonasymca.org/index.html

http://www.militaryymca.org/

Most if not all of the chapters have their own websites, twitters and Facebook pages. After registering to become members or liking their sites they can all keep you up to date on all events and special programs going on.

Enjoy looking through all of the awesome events! Pics will come after the ball probably on Saturday!

Deployment Tips...

We only really feel alone when we’re left with our thoughts and insecurities. None of us are made of stone, brick or some superhuman material which makes us forget our sorrows and go on with life while our Marines are away. We are not born equipped to deal with everything that the Marine Corps will throw at us especially more than a few times so survival, social and coping instincts are acquired during tough times.

As Marine wives we do stand on the tarmacs, piers and in parking lots waving goodbye to our Marines with a heavy heart. Each wife has this iconic moment where we feel like time has stopped and we’re just waving and waving until they’ve gone out of sight or can’t see us anymore. Not all of us have biological immediate family members close or even in the same state as your duty station. This reality hits home at least for me the second he gets orders for a deployment, then again when he leaves for the bus, dock or air station. You can and will feel alone. It is completely normal and can be a little more than overwhelming but try not to feel too down about the situation. This is when our friends and Marine Corps family comes in handy during those first few days when you can’t get out of bed, off the couch or out of the fridge. When you are so sad and depressed that you’re heart is literally breaking for fear of the unknown, lack of control and the many dangerous possibilities out there. We wait for our men not because we want to or have to. We wait for our men because we are mentally strong enough for this job. Not every lady is and that’s okay this is truly a hard pill to swallow but they love their jobs and us so we shouldn’t be the ones to come in between the two passions in their life. In the pit of our stomachs there’s a strong love, appreciation and affection for these amazingly masculine yet soft hearted individuals. There is just an overwhelmingly powerful and soul warming flow which is the strength that helps us get through those sometimes hollow days and lonely nights. The dark, cold and lonesome nights at times seem to never end and are enough to make wives forgo their own beds and sleep on loveseats, futons or with the kids.

Unless you intend to go back to your home state during his deployments which a lot of wives do we have to rely on each other for support. Moving back home can be a good idea to save the BAH money but you run the risk of being far away from your duty station and possibly having pay issues you can’t deal with, possibly not getting vital deployment information as well as not participating in events the command holds during the deployment.

Irregular communication wherever they are does not aid in the sad and lonely days at all. Now do not think your husband will call, email or write everyday or even every other day. This is one of the many misconceptions about deployments a lot of wives, girlfriends, mothers, and family members have. Some ladies have been known to try and guilt trip their husbands into calling them often and get upset whenever the Marines do not get to call, email or Skype as much as they believe he should. Ladies I know this is 2010 but as I was told many times before they are working and will call you the second they get a free moment to do so. Meu’s (ships) are a little more consistent but there is always going to be Rivercity wherever they are at. Rivercity is whenever there is an issue during the deployment and for everyone’s safety they cut off all communication outgoing until the issue has been resolved. There are hundreds if not thousands of people on any one deployment so a 5 minute phone call for every one of them is a strategic undertaking for the command over there. 

Hopefully you will get to have dozens of phone calls, emails, video teleconferences set up by the command team, and even possibly Skype with your Marine. I hope you learn any tricks of the trade (each ship, crew and command is different) very quickly and not at the very end of the deployment. I had Anthony email my text message service on my phone so it was more like texting and I’d get it almost immediately versus an email. After I realized how inconvenient it was to do this I ended up upgrading my phone to a blackberry so that I could get emails and phone calls without delay. Typically what we would do is I’d have to be quick but if I was awake we’d email back and forth. I once found out almost half way through a deployment that through Yahoo there is a video web chat option where the Marines could see us but we couldn’t see them. As weird as it feels to look at a black screen they felt comforted and a little closer to home.

The strong productive wives busy themselves and keep their positive fellow Marine Corps wives around to buy time. Deployments are full of emotional highs and lows and in the family readiness classes you will learn quite a bit about this. Even for seasoned wives at first you will feel inconsolable, rotten and just want to be glued to the floor. Find a source of strength to vent and relate to whether it’s MarineParents.com, Facebook Marine Corps pages or other Marine Corps wives websites. The main trick is after the initial shock and sadness set a goal (re-decorate your house, learn to sew, learn a new language, take a college course, dancing class, cooking/baking class or teach yourself, make a new margarita every night or taste a new wine, learn the different city parks or beaches in the area) but whatever you do just have fun and take everything one day at a time! 

 

 (Cheesecake making for the first time & My new flower garden during a deployment!!! :P)

After a little while your strength will increase and you’ll be able to function outside of the home without succumbing to tears at the first patriotic song that comes on the radio, overly exaggerated newscast, or phone call where someone mentions your Marine’s name. You’ll eventually find yourself in a groove and routine of cleaning, exercising, planning, shopping, kids, dog walking, gardening, wine tasting, cooking and learning new recipes, ect. About a month before he comes home you’re in high spirits and in homecoming mode of banner/sign making, flag buying, fridge stocking and deep cleaning. He gets here and you’re on top of the world in another honeymoon phase and so in love. You realize quickly he can’t load a dishwasher to save his life, he puts the ketchup in the pantry and not the refrigerator, makes insanely huge messes everywhere and doesn’t remember to put the laundry in the dryer but he is back home and ALL YOURS!! So on to a whole new routine and schedule. The emotional cycle begins again but it is all worth it because you have your man home and have survived this deployment!

Customs, Courtesies, & Marine Corps Events...

There will be events that you and your husband are invited to for many reasons it could be for the entire unit/battalion/ect or a base function. Whether it is announced through email, a flyer or in a formal mailed invitation you will see the desired clothing attire on the invitation. If it is not written specifically call your hostess, FRA (Family Readiness Assistant) or FRO for more detailed information. The Marines will know what to wear because believe me their command will tell them more than once. There are a few options for the women though.

Formal Attire for Ladies: Ankle to Floor length Formal Evening Gowns
Change of Command/Retirement Ceremonies: Attire for Ladies: Dress
California Casual: Consists of Skirt, Shorts or Nice Jeans (no ripped, torn or faded items)
Conservative Casual/Business Casual Attire for Ladies: Crisp Pants, Skirt and Modest Blouse

Depending on where you’re stationed will dictate the above information and can vary from time zone to time zone. Unless it is 120* please do not wear a mini-skirt to a formal event; not only is it against the rules and inappropriate but some senior Marines and wives may call your date/husband out in front of everyone or off to the side and get in trouble because of something that could have been avoided by following the rules.

Make sure that you “repondez s’il vous plait” or RSVP meaning, “please respond” so that the hostess will know how many to account for regarding seating and food. You wouldn’t want to throw a party at your house and invite 40 and only 10 RSVP so you cook for 10 but 50 ends up at your house. So out of good manners and respect for the hostess and command please RSVP! Another big thing at Marine Corps functions is to show up on time. Generally this means 15 minutes before the actual start time to get situated in the room, say your hello’s and find your seat. Do NOT have your cell phone on and if it has to be on for emergencies please put it on vibrate. They typically remind you before any ceremony to turn it off out of respect for others. You do not want to be the one whose phone rings an inappropriate or loud ringtone during colors or other sacred ceremony. You’re husband/date will NOT be very happy with you. Also, when the flag is passing, the National Anthem or Marine Corps Hymn is playing or the Pledge of Allegiance is being said as the spouse or parent of a Marine, it is customary to stand as well and place your hand over your heart.

Formal and Social Marine Corps Events
There are more ceremonies than this but for the most part these are the ones that wives would be invited to and a part of with the exception of Mess Night.  So much contraversy surrounds Mess Night though I had to include it on here.


Change of Commands:
When the commander of a unit changes from one Marine to another, a ceremony is held involving all members of the unit. A parade or formation takes place which pays respects to the outgoing commander and family and formally introduces the incoming commander and the family. After the ceremony, a reception is held in honor of the two commanders.

Dining In:
This is the spouses’ version of Mess Night for NCO’s and up. You must follow a set of rules set by ‘Mr. Vice’. Your Marine will be fined if the rules are broken in any way. The fines are for and in all good fun and any money collected goes towards a unit goal. The traditions in this event are very interesting, make sure you arrive a little early and listen in to hear all of the fun!

Hail and Farewell:
A casual event held at the Officer’s Club or a central location to welcome and say goodbye to the Marines and their families joining or leaving the unit. This event is for NCO's and up.

Marine Corps Birthday Ball:
A formal event filled with the history of the Marine Corps and your unit. It happens typically around November 10th each year. This is another event held with rich tradition, a guest of honor and many ceremonies. Get dressed up like a princess, go get your makeup and hair done, get pictures taken, be charming and enjoy the cocktail hour!

Mess Night:
This is a Marines only event! Toasting, games, dinner and a guest of honor will pass on their knowledge and wisdom to everyone in attendance. I get a lot of ladies asking if it is mandatory or if their husbands are somehow not being truthful about their whereabouts. This is a true and factual event ladies and is very much so mandatory so do not worry too much ladies it is beyond our control no matter how much we complain about them always being at work. We should form a Marine Corps Spouses Mess Night on their Mess Night! LOL!

Roll Call/Memorial Ceremony:
A ceremony held for the family and friends of a Marine who's typically died in combat. You won't get an invitation to this generally; if instructed to do so the FRO may let wives of the battalion know. It is a prayer, the Marine's friends speaking as well as the command giving their condolences to the Marine's family. Most people have seen the pictures of the Marines knelt in prayer in front of a helmet, rifle, dog tags and boots. There is a small ceremony in the field but this is the one with the entire battalion to honor the life of the Marine who made the ultimate sacrifice.

Wetting Down:
This is a social and personal preference event when a Marine is promoted typically starting at SSgt rank. The party is thrown by the Marine(s) being promoted and can be very fun to attend. The rule of thumb is that the party should cost the amount of the new rank’s first pay raise. Families are typically invited and it is held at someone’s house or a housing areas multipurpose room. If not held at someone’s home the Marines have been known to have a nice dinner and then go to a bar.

Unit Meetings:
As stated previously if you want to participate in command sponsored events and assisting the FRO you will be invited to go to meetings held bi-weekly or monthly meetings. This is where the FRO may suggest wife/parent socials, coffee mornings, workout evenings, Jane Wayne Days (where the wives get to put on camo paint and see how the husbands do their daily work routines in a fun female friendly way), baby showers, deployment send offs, care packaging, sponsorships, parent participation, Mass Communication Tool, and just getting together to brainstorm on how to make the unit better for all of the families involved in the unit.

Basically, the Marine Corps lifestyle is a learning experience so soak it all up.  There's alot to learn, do, and participate in.  Enjoy your time in and your Marine.  Lots of retired Marines' wives tell me they miss the moving, crazy training schedules, work hours and the fellow wives bonded by our devotion to our Marines.

Volunteering for the unit...FRO's, FRA's, Advisor's oh MY!

The first or second time for you are at a unit sponsored event; it may seem awkward but your Marine should always make an effort to introduce you to those in attendance whether junior or senior. It will get eventually get easier but a smile and friendly conversation is appreciated by all. Believe me I know how uncomfortable it is being sociable with new people in a military environment which can be a little intimidating even for a people person like me. It is definitely better than being standoffish since this is your new “family” so make sure you meet the FRO (Family Readiness Officer) and his or her team.

I've learned the hard way that it is so true that there is strength in numbers so introduce yourselves to all of these people.  They will be the ones who will help you in good times and bad for small and large issues. If you wish to volunteer and be active now is the time to get a name and number to offer your assistance via email at a later time. There are quite a few volunteer positions readily available within the command depending on your availability. Family Readiness Advisors, Family Readiness Assistants, Family Readiness Volunteers, and Event Volunteers are just a few that help out the command and Marines in various ways at various times of the year. Family Readiness Advisors are typically the higher up wives of each company as well as the Col’s wife. They basically assist the FRO and aid the FRA’s as well as perform other duties as needed. Assistants (FRA’s) assist the FRO with the family’s needs of their specific company or squad. So if ECHO Co wives, parents or family members need a phone number or address to the commissary, MCCS, or base stables the company FRA’s are here for you. FRA’s also assist the FRO with more complex needs depending on your specific FRO’s confidence in your skills and knowledge of the Marine Corps resources and wives requests. There should be about 2 FRA’s for each company or squad in the battalion. Volunteers assist at events which require numerous people for various activities, games, handing out items, decoration, ect. It is a great position to take stress off of the FRO and isn’t a committed position such as the FRA. Either way there are meetings every few weeks or so to keep everyone in on the happenings of the command and to assist the FRO in pre-planning for events.

I haven’t really spoke on the positivity of volunteering but I wouldn’t be anywhere near the person I am right now if I hadn’t had been exposed to some very good people from my arrival here.  I also let myself be open to the possibilities of helping which is important. Some people just complain about the way things work and don't educate themselves on why it is that way or try and help to modify the situation.  At first I was apprehensive to be around these people thinking that if I screwed up anything it could possibly have a direct impact on my husband’s job. That doesn't typically happen though and I just wasn't aware of how it all worked.  I didn’t know at the time how the hierarchy goes and how I could put some of my communication and customer service skills to good use. I loved starting when I did, learning what I have and being exposed to the very optimistic and uplifting people. I eventually didn’t just say I wanted to help I took the initiative to go to the FRA Intro classes at MCCS (Marine Corps Community Services), L.I.N.K.S courses and took the privacy test needed in order to help with our unit. I made sure to try and helped our FRO at every location and in between as well because there is always something that can be done. The FRO works with the unit to plan how simple or extravagant the events will be for the most part. Some events can be very detail oriented and some have been plain and simple both have good reasoning to make it easier on the guests or command. I hope every Marine wife knows that this is a family organization and no matter if you’re husband is deployed, at home, WIA, or KIA we are all here for each other and as wives stronger with each other than apart. We gain strength and knowledge knowing what each other is going through especially from the experienced ladies.

Veteran's Day...

Some of my favorite cadences (catchy songs the different branches sing while jogging to keep morale up and in step):

I don't know, but I've been told,

The Marine Corps is mighty bold.

And up upon the bolden scene,

Stands the United States Marines.

Sound off 1 2,

Sound off 3 4,

1 2 3 4 United States Marine Corps

The only ones with the guts to fight.

They fight all day, and stand guard at night.

Sound off 1 2,

Sound off 3 4,

1 2 3 4 United States Marine Corps

Now on land, sea or in the air,

They get the job done no matter where.

So when they come home from all the battles,

To show off the all their heroic medals.

The Marine Corps is the job for me.

Sound off 1 2,

Sound off 3 4,

1 2 3 4 United States Marine Corps!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Mama, Mama can’t you see?

What the Marine Corps’ done to me...

They sat me down in the chair,

When I looked I had no hair

Mama, Mama can't ya see???

What the Marine Corps’ done to me...

I used to drive a Chevrolet,

but now I march around all day

Mama, Mama can't you see?

What the Marine Corps’ done to me...

I used to drive a Cadillac...

now I carry one on my back...

Mama, Mama can't you see?!?!?!?

What the Marine Corps’ done to me...

After I passed the really hard test...

They stuck a ribbon in my chest.

Mama, Mama Can’t you see?

What the Marine Corps’ done to me...

I'm walkin tall and feeling good,

I'm doing things I never thought I could.

Throughout these few days every year of remembrance, honor and celebration I personally wanted to take the time to say how humbled I am to have known, know, have met and work with so many brave, courageous and heroic current and prior service members. There are so many countless others out there who are just as outstanding as these service members who’ve left such a positive impression in our lives.

Wherever they are now I want to say thank you for all you have done, sacrificed and will continue to sacrifice for our country. Anthony & I go to Balboa Naval Hospital quite a bit for his appointments and see the results of slight and life altering injuries to these selfless Americans and almost everyone we see has a smile on their face. All politics, statistics and bull crap aside, these men and women signed up, trained, went to all of the wars and more recently Afghanistan and Iraq for the greater cause and the bigger picture; for you, me, our kids and our kids’ kids.

The many people and sometimes perfect strangers, who’ve helped us cope with the initial shock of the injury, transport to the states, and now recovery and rehab are all angels on earth. Giving back to those in need is the greatest gift you can give yourself and others. I will personally never forget any of our earthly angels and will teach my girls to give back to others and go my entire life donating to and volunteering for those organizations out there to help not only the service member but their families during a crisis. Whether it is sending care packages, doing a Hike for Heroes, visiting the injured in the hospitals, going to a memorial, helping with the Wounded Warrior project or otherwise the ideas are endless but help is needed in ways too great to put into words. 

So enjoy the parades, football games and days off during this time. Yet please educate the not knowing, teens and kids why they get a day off of school and those who’ve come before them to make it safer for them to live their lives. Age appropriate of course explain why the towns, streets, houses, and cemeteries are overloaded with American flags, red, white and blue wreaths and why veterans are in their Sunday best for ceremonies and parades. These events are for our Veterans and their families. Have a great weekend and God Bless the USA!!

Things to NEVER ask a Marine Wife...

I know I've already posted this but I wanted it to be on this site as well since many can relate to this...enjoy again... :)

1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be hurt?" (This one ranks in at number one on the "duh and NO SHIT" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks alot brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)

2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it." (This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

3. "At least he's not in Iraq." (This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? )

4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/Mothers Day/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?" (Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. There are no personal time off days, sick days, or any civilian things like that. He cant call in to work. Please don't ask again.)

5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?" (Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.)

6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?" (This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands AREN'T counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Afghanistan b/c there is work that needs to be done.)

7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it." (We do learn coping skills. We figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away.)

8. "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through." (This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 6-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband, your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, and he flew comfortably on a commercial plane. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a crappy Hyundai Excel with a Mercedes convertible.)

9. "Wow you must miss him?" (This one also gets another big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced.)

10. "Where is he exactly? Where is that?" (I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day —and on maps everywhere.)

11. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there." (Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.)

12. "Don't you miss sex! I couldn't do it!" (hmmm, no I don't miss sex. I'm a robot. seriously...military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)

13. "Well in my opinion....." (Stop right there. I didn't ask for you your personal or political opinions. Unless you've walked in my husbands shoes or my own you have no idea how we live or feel...keep it to yourself.  Civilians have no idea on this subject so try not to interject your thoughts and opinions into my life.  The negative and emotional comments are counterproductive so don't even say them!)

Last, but not least....

14. "OH, that's horrible...I'm so sorry!" (He's doing his job and he's a complete bad ass. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our Marines/soldiers/airmen/sailors fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)

If you want to say anything, say thank you. After all, we are sexually deprived for your freedom :)

Marine Corps Birthday...

In honor of our beloved Marine Corps Birthday....

"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!"

-Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945

The United States Marine Corps is more than just boot camp, social events, training, deployments, hierarchy, and even Birthday Balls.  There are very deep roots and reasoning attached to all of these functions and traditions.  So ladies hold your head high when these men invite you to these function because they are truly a part of the few and the proud and you are lucky to be an extension of them. 

The United States Marine Corps traces its roots to the Continental Marines of the American Revolutionary War, formed by Captain Samuel Nicholas at Tun Tavern (which to me explains why a lot of the ceremonies and traditions are centered around alcohol) in Philadelphia on 10 November 1775, to raise 2 battalions of Marines. That date is regarded and celebrated as the date of the Marine Corps' "birthday". At the end of the American Revolution, both the Continental Navy and Continental Marines were disbanded in April 1783. The institution itself would not be resurrected until 1798. In that year, in preparation for the Quasi-War with France, Congress created the United States Marine Corps. Marines had been enlisted by the War Department as early as August 1797 for service in the new-build frigates authorized by Congress. The "Act to provide a Naval Armament" of March 18, 1794 authorizing them had specified the numbers of Marines to be recruited for each frigate.

Since then there has been countless missions and wars from the Civil War to Operation Enduring Freedom (or OEF) that the Marines have had a huge participation in. At the inception of the Marine Corps the need was basically infantrymen and has grown to now include pilots, security forces, administration personnel, and so many more jobs including our never failing, brave and hardworking infantry (aka grunts).

Everyone from presidents to high ranking officers and even celebrities have commented on how important, committed and passionate Marines are to the mission of keeping the United States of America safe. These men’s dedication and persistence is what makes us stand perfectly still and hold our hands over our hearts while the National Anthem is being played. These men have pride and honor for their jobs more than any civilian will ever know. When they celebrate their Marine Corps Birthday these men are not just using this day as an excuse to party hard, have a day off or to slack off. Not every Marine gets to have dinner in a classy location surrounded by flowers and alcohol. They are celebrating and honoring their current brothers and past Marines the ones who could attend and the ones who could not. Some who have come and gone and the Marines who have died in combat for Americans freedoms and safety not hesitating to give this ultimate sacrifice if it means we’ll be able to sleep peacefully one more night. As wives we have an overwhelming sense of pride for OUR Marines, their service and commitment to duty and I know their pride is over 10 times more than what any of us could ever imagine. We are all in this together and no we didn’t say the oath but being married to your Marine you are also part of this amazing Corps! So I hope everyone has an amazing Marine Corps Birthday! Have some cake, kiss your Marine, and enjoy this day!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARINES!!!

the crazy news...Afghanistan!

My husband, Anthony had some big plans even before his MEU deployment was over. Out of the thirteen hundred or so in the battalion from the MEU (ship) deployment my husband volunteered along with almost two hundred more to go to Afghanistan to assist another battalion. He didn’t even ask me before saying YES to his CO! I wasn’t necessarily mad just concerned and worried. What is a good Marine Corps wife to do though? I knew that would be an option sooner or later and possibly numerous times, he is a grunt and therefore trained from the beginning in war tactics and was anxious to use his skills in real life. He lived for this and wanted to do his part to help. I didn’t have a choice but to say, “go get ‘em” when he called and needed to hear my approval and support for him. He wanted to know I was behind him and would always be so I swallowed any anxiousness, fear and dread and did just that. My only comfort was that it wasn’t another full 6 or 7 month deployment. It was only going to be for four months. I knew his higher up’s and they had been there before, I knew they were the best the battalion had to offer. Because of the seriousness of the situation, we went home for a few days on his leave period to tell the parents and family. We gathered them all together for dinner meeting at a restaurant (public place so no one could freak out, faint or scream) and let them all in on Anthony’s next deployment. No one screamed, fainted or freaked out, it was just an eerie silence and sense of worry in the room. They all had questions and concerns about everything and wanted to know more information which we didn’t really have. Anthony simply promised that I would keep everyone informed as much as possible just like I always have while helping the Family Readiness Officer for his unit. When information came in and was relevant, I passed it along to them.

Let me tell you the veterans and their wives who shake every Marine and Soldier’s hand in Maine bring tears to my eyes! They are there morning, noon and night to do this service and show their support when many Americans wouldn’t even think about doing this small gesture during their busy day. They provide basic necessities, food and free cell phones and land lines for the troops to call home. I can only imagine the pride and warmth in their hearts to do this for our men and women going to or coming from harm’s way. The pictures on their website are just so motivating and make me want to give more considering how much time they give for our guys!

Mail and custom care packages were formed and were shipped. I loved helping the FRO during all of this. I came to meet so many wonderfully inspiring and resourceful parents who wanted nothing more than to get the items the men were requesting and somehow produce mass quantities of it for their benefit. Because of my select Magnificent Parents; I know every single Marine got care packages with their much needed items and lots of goodies. These really great families volunteer for organizations which are just so supportive of our Marines. So our Marines moved around from Camp to Camp and did mission after mission. Days went by, at first we were focused on how long it would take to get there, their mailing addresses once they got there, what exactly would they need in this climate (which could be 120* in some spots, very steep mountain terrain, and the sanitation conditions aren't as convenient as in the USA) how much of it and how often, when would phone calls and emails start rolling in, keeping in contact with other wives and parents who possibly needed the previous information, ect. There is always just so much information in any deployment which some families may or may not need to be passed along to them.

Unfortunately for my husband, while there he was in a small arms fire fight and was shot several times. Luckily out of all those bullets only one of them hit him and went through his leg behind the knee. Out of the other bullets one went through the remote controlled IED scrambler on his back (and it still worked afterwards) and one went through his yellow smoke canister (he got to keep this bullet). He was the first one in out of the almost two hundred to get WIA (Wounded in Action). Anthony is the team leader he called in his own injury, found his guys and they were able to get to him, tourniquet the wound and medevac him out of the hot zone. He was in as good of spirits as could be expected during this time and I was told Anthony asked for ice cream knowing he was going to Camp Leatherneck for treatment.  I was like ICE CREAM!!! REALLY!?!?! He's so silly!

He knows how lucky he is since if any of those others would have hit him he would probably not have been here today. Thankfully, all of his command has been so supportive and reassuring. From our prior Bn CO (Battalion Commanding Officer) the current command and friends who didn’t volunteer to go and were back here near me, everyone has been by my side emotionally and physically. I couldn’t have asked for anything better than their words of encouragement and love in a stressful situation. Currently we aren’t sure which way the tide will turn for Anthony’s leg. We are getting second and third opinions on his progress and end results. He wants nothing more than to be the best Marine he can be and continue to be in this supportive and family oriented organization. There have been many changes during our time here so far and there will continue to be many more in the near future.

Unfortunately, the situation out there only got worse after Anthony’s injury. The other wives who got the phone call and the one who got that terrible knock at the door with Marines in their blues will always be connected by this deployment because it changed our lives forever.

Homecoming...

One of the best things about deployments besides the gifts your Marine gets you is their arrival!! Depending on the type of deployment, the location of their deployment and what base you are stationed at will determine the kind of Homecoming Reception your unit has.

I know that on MEU’s sometimes they let Marines get off the ship and use their leave time early instead of waiting the extra week or more to make it back to land for the big homecoming. It was a really great relief for some to see their heroes early and an exhilarating surprise for others to have their husbands standing outside their door! The Facebook posts from so many wives that weekend were so moving and I melted thinking of how some of these strong, hardened Marines thought of a plan to fly home before everyone else and catch their wives off guard with no makeup on, the house a mess, a full load of dishes in the sink and probably a pile of laundry! LOL! Hilarious but yet thoughtful and romantic at the same time!

Some families stay at home and let the Marines drive their own vehicle from their drop off location and choose to not wait for hours on base for their arrival. For our first deployment I wasn’t even in the state myself because I was unaware of how incredibly amazing the homecomings can be. Not all homecomings have the rolled out carpets and velvet ropes. Not all homecomings the Marines march in together in formation. Not everyone’s experience is the same but at times it is a very surreal, somber, emotional, heartfelt, heartbreaking, and thrilling event which can be an exhausting for the reasons stated above.

This particular homecoming though I was pumped up for because not only had I helped the FRO and families during this deployment quite a bit but I felt like my heart was in the production of helping our other wives set up, prepare and assist family members during the waiting game before the busses arrived with the men. Now on the family readiness side we thought we were pretty prepared. We had plenty of coffee makers, ice, balloons, snacks, water, kids’ patriotic paintings, mini flags to line the streets and canopies for families to sit under. This is where the Semper Gumby comes in at. It was thought to be beneficial and convenient to have Homecoming Arrival time frames for the family members to go by. As Homecomings can be the times were incorrect and our time frames were early by about 5-6 hours. Thankfully, all of the parents and wives I talked to were very patient, understanding and cooperative during this time especially knowing their Marines are so close to being in their arms. When the busses started to arrive and head towards the armory it was a sight for sore eyes. Unfortunately but expectedly some of the attendees wandered off thinking they’d get to get their men early but all it did was to stall the transition and accountability process. We were about 300 yards away from the armory on a different street. From where all of the families were at we couldn’t see the Marines coming up to us from a distance. We were near a BEQ (Bachelor Enlisted Quarters or barracks rooms) and there were Marines walking around in their cami’s all day so we didn’t really even know when they had been released from the armory to walk our way. Would they all be marching into the Homecoming location? When they started trickling in two and four at a time people were on pins and needles; but was it really them? We all stood on our tip toes trying to catch a glimpse of a familiar face since all of these Marines seem at times to look alike!! I’ve heard so many stories of ladies who grabbed and hugged the wrong Marine! LOL! Hilarious but I didn’t want it to be me!

Slowly but surely hugs, tears, screams and jumping commenced; they were on their way! Eventually after a long tiring day we all found our Marine and were able to hug for the first time in nearly 7 months! They had all had long and stressful days so all they wanted was to eat some Carl’s Jr. or McDonalds, get a shower and head home. Another deployment down and many more to go in these years to come! My husband had information for me in the next few hours that would change my world forever. Little did he know that I was already aware of the situation but hadn’t come to grips with it just yet…

Ball...

So I didn't want to not post anything today..I feel like I'm on a roll. This isn't my only post on this subject so do not fret, I will go into detail later on any misconceptions, inaccuracies, questions, ect as well as just the ceremonies, traditions and how and why the Marine Corps Birthday came to be.


I do hope everyone is going to have an amazing weekend celebrating the Marine Corps birthday!! All of the prestige, traditions and brotherhood will be in full force over the next few weekends.


I can't wait to hear about all the glamorus locations, decorations and parties being attended!! Becoming a princess for the night for your prince is something I personally love to get the chance to do. It doesn't always have to cost a fortune but as long as you love it that's all that matters! So ladies, soak up all the compliments, take in all the sights of the evening and as many pictures as your camera will take!! This is a moment to be honored and celebrated! Tell your husband he looks amazingly handsome, get him a shot then out on the dancefloor!


Have a great time all! Our Ball is tomorrow so I won't be posting again until Sunday. Be safe but enjoy yourselves ladies. Live in the joyful moments..



Semper Fi!

New Friends...

After crying, being irritable, overly emotional and just feeling down about him being gone for a day or two, I found myself having to suck it up quick because the holidays were on their way! Before I knew it my kids needed Halloween costumes, I was putting up my Thanksgiving décor and preparing for my mother, mother-in-law and extended families visit for the holidays.

At this point right after the MEU left things were coming naturally and at a steady and constant pace for me. I was acclimated for the most part to my immediate surroundings and the San Diego area, I had gone to my L.I.N.K.S class, FRA (Family Readiness Assistant) training, FRA-OMBUDSMEN volunteer recognition luncheon, LES Seminar and started the girls in school and baseball. I had also made so many new friends!

I believe Angela came first. Her husband and I worked together since he was on the RBE (Remain behind Element) which supported the Marines on the MEU from the command post on base here. She is a FRA for her husband’s company and even though I had seen her before in the FRO’s office we hadn’t really hung out just yet. We eventually grew on each other and it came in handy because we could brainstorm on Family Readiness ideas, events, meetings, resources, ect. to help our families before, during and after the deployment. Angela grew on me so much she is now part of our very small group of people we call our family. I know I can go to her for anything and she’ll help me get through it. The same rule goes for her or anyone else in my Marine Corps family. We love learning new things, are both trying to better ourselves through continuing our education and love to volunteer. Angela is a native Northern Californian who has a bloodline a lot like my Heinz 57 version; she’s mixed with a little of everything. LOL! She’s a very beautiful young lady who has a heart of gold, is patient, kind and understanding. We’ve been through so much together and it’s only strengthened our friendship.

Gaby and I met because of our Marines. They are in the same company and very good friends. Sometimes just a similarity doesn’t always mean the wives will get along at all but in this case luckily it did. LOL! Before I even got to meet Gaby our ingenious husbands came up with a plan! They got us basically to agree to a food swap. She would provide some homemade tamales for my husband and I would make a homemade cheesecake for hers. Our husbands both love the others cooking! HILARIOUS! She is another Native Californian who has a big heart, loves to travel and is very wise beyond her years. Sometimes I feel like she’s more of a friend to me than I am for her but I love having her around! She accepted my silly southern ways and analogies for what they are and has always been willing to be there for us. The first day I met her she came to watch New Moon with me on the opening day. We talked for over an hour after the movie and found out we have quite a bit in common because I think our husbands are a lot alike and so are we. We both admitted in the beginning that we weren’t into causing or being involved in drama and love shopping for anything but clothes for ourselves. During the MEU deployment we became quite close and to the point that we went to lunch regularly, planned dinners to pass the time and discussed the Marine Corps life over wine a time or two. LOL! To this day she still comes to my rescue! By the way if you’re ever looking for a good red wine that’s sweet like a dessert wine it would be Stella Rosa! THANK YOU GABY!

Jackie and I met because our husbands work together as well. They have been together almost from being assigned to their unit and have so many common bonds. Jackie is a uniquely gut busting hilarious lovely young lady who’s from the Hill Country in Texas. She is an international traveler, loves to laugh and is on her way to become a very talented cook!  There are so many Jackie jokes I have to tell on here it is so important. Jackie has a funny way of telling jokes and not knowing they are jokes until we’re laughing at what she said, she’s catching on though now and I told her to have her husband write some down for us to go up on here. She hasn’t been here a year yet but has caught on well and very fast to the lifestyle here.

LOL! We try and get together often for dinner parties which of course includes all 4 families with our kids. It can be hectic but is always a good time. We get to have some good food, lots of laugh and good company! I love these ladies to death and couldn’t think of anyone else to have as long time friends! I hope that we will be friends forever and stay in touch no matter where we are in or out of the country.

First MEU Deployment...

Please always remember with anything in the Marine Corps nothing is ever set in stone so do not hold your breath for any time frame, departure date, homecoming date, meeting time, moving date, leave period, bonus pay date, ect.

The summer of 2009 was over and MEU (ship) deployment was coming fast and I had to do something! I eventually got the opportunity to volunteer more and more for the Family Readiness Officer of Anthony’s unit. Keeping busy during the deployment was my coping method. Organizing things for and working with others helped me not focus every little stressor during Anthony’s absence that were not within my reach and that I couldn’t control.

Anthony’s unit was going to be part of a Battalion Landing Team or BLT. Not quite like a BLT sandwich but it is exactly as it sounds a big mess of all MOS’s (jobs) put together on several ships to tour the seas for different reasons. Some ships had sailed a week earlier while one had stayed back for repairs. So thankfully we got additional time together! We didn’t really know when he was going to go but we knew it was coming up and fast. Early one morning Anthony called me after being at work for an hour and said “we’re leaving soon”. I didn’t really know what to think and how serious to take him since that can mean anything from don’t plan for the BBQ this weekend to don’t make the lasagna tonight. We were informed on a couple hours notice of this deployments departure. Right after he called the plan was to head home, pick up his gear and us to head back to work and prepare for the bus ride to the ship. So this was it for us, our big day, and the big emotional roller coaster moment. This was my first time experience since I’d never been to a send off, deployment day, or anything. We typically said goodbye at the airport and I’d go back to my normal or should I say (maybe not so normal) Geo-Bachelor life. I didn’t know what to expect, how to feel, how not to feel, how to react, how NOT to react, ect. I knew it was going to be sad because of his absence and missing the upcoming holidays. I also knew that I was a pretty strong and independent person and he was just going on a ship for 6 months or so and that I shouldn’t be too overwhelmed or overemotional. I knew we’d have email, Skype, phone calls and mail so this should be a cake walk. Thank goodness Maggie went through all of this with me and we both had each other to talk to, vent to, drink wine with and complain about the house falling apart because the men left. I believe the kids were able to cope better since Maggie’s kids, and so many other military families kids were going through the same feelings at the same time all in our little military community bubble.

The unit held a send off at the UMA lot (basically a huge parking lot) filled with 7 tons, busses, Marines, family members, kids, dogs and friends not ready to say their goodbyes just yet. We waited for hours and hours while gear was loaded, signs were painted and coffee was brewed. People had started leaving, the tears were falling, and the last kisses for months had begun. I had helped set up, clean up as the evening wore on, painted signs and spoken to all my company wives I knew and tried to assure them they’d be getting the latest information from our FRO and command ASAP. Anthony pulled me aside and told me that he felt it was time for me and the girls to go home. It was getting late, they were about to leave anyway and there was nothing more for me to do there. All of a sudden that was when the unexpected waterworks hit me. I didn’t know why I was crying. It really hurt to know that he wouldn’t be coming home with us, eating dinner with us, going to the movies with us and Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners. I was sad, hurt, mad at the Marine Corps, and kind of scared. Scared for what? I thought maybe the bus wouldn’t make it, that he’d get hurt on the ship, that he’d not get along with his co-workers aboard the ship, that he’d get hurt on missions when he got overseas, he’d get sick again with pneumonia, swine flu or bronchitis. There were so many insecurities I had about the whole situation but I know now that it is all normal, it’s a control factor for me. We’d prepared diligently for the deployment by preparing our families, organizing Wills, Powers of Attorney, passwords, ect. After all of that the one thing I couldn’t control and secure was my husband’s safety and health. To make matters even more emotional the ship stayed docked overnight and I persuaded Maggie to come to the send off with me at Point Loma.  With time though I eased up on my anxiousness thanks to Maggie, the FRO, my RBE (Remain Behind Element) co workers and friends because I think it would have turned into an obsession to know how he is, where he is, what he’s doing, what he’s not doing, ect.

After some pep talks from the Col’s wife, a MARSOC wife (Special Forces) and many others, I realized he’s at work and will call, email and write me whenever he gets a chance. I am very thankful that seasoned Marine Wives were able to put into perspective his job, his duty and my role in all of this. My job is to go on with life, maintain sanity and normalcy for my household, busy the girls, Wyatt Earp, support him and send care packages. I tried to keep thinking and encouraging my wives to imagine what wives from the early 20th century went through not having the communication advancements we have today. No email, not always a phone to call and mostly just the postal service. The whole “Semper Gumby” status is definitely in effect whenever there is any kind of deployment. The definition is basically be flexible and prepared because information and things may and probably will change a few times due to many different reasons. On this particular MEU there were some “probably too much fun” ports (stops in different countries for rest and relaxation or mission readiness) for me and some that were a physical and mental challenge for my husband. This MEU situation came and it tested my strength as a person, a woman, and a Marine Corps wife. I got to see how it could possibly be for the next 20 years. OH! I can't forget how I started hanging with my latest muskateers during this deployment.  Gaby and Angela's story will come soon enough...for Gaby and I our husbands got in the men were in the "best shape of their lives" during this MEU and proceeded to tell us every phone call and email at least twice.  We tried but it just wasnt going to happen overnight.  LOL! The best thing about MEU deployments ladies is that our hard work is repaid in GIFTS!!!!  These men have time to shop at ports and bring back the BEST loot!  I swear if you need silk sheets, M.A.C. Makeup, jewelry or jewelry boxes, pearls, ect they will be able to find it!

With a strong support system and even stronger relationship together we got through the ups and downs of this deployment and can’t wait for what lies ahead.

First Friends...

One of the first of many bright spots of my early experience in California was when I met my one of my neighbors, Stacie! When we first got moved into our house we BBQ’d a lot with charcoal which I’ve learned along the way is not what most people use in this state. We’d been here maybe a month or so through the billowing smoke of my BBQ pit in our patio I saw my fellow neighbor just one door down who was also partaking in the Sunday BBQ tradition. She politely said hi and asked where we were from. (That question is one of the first things most Marine Corps spouses ask one another…and most are from the South and tend to stick together throughout changes in units, duty stations, states, and even countries!) I quickly responded by almost shouting “TEXAS!!” She laughed and said that her husband was from there and from a town very close to my home town! Needless to say, we hit it off; she took me under her wing and helped teach me how it is on base, the cool things around the city and all the juicy gossip on our block. Stacie is a native Californian; she was one of the first to prove my initial theory wrong about Californians. She blew my prior misconception out of the water that not all or even most people who live here are mean, rude, standoffish and not cordial it’s just some that just so happened to give off an awkward first impression on me. Stacie was a proud Marine Wife, a spunky young lady and mother of two cutie pie boys. She’s an energetic cleaning machine, with all the latest and greatest tips on almost everything! She taught me how I have to use Lemi-Shine in my dishwasher since the water on base is full of calcium. She also taught me the best places to find deals on everything from groceries to retail stores here in Oceanside. Her husband is a great guy and one of the first impressions of a Marine besides my own husband! We spent many a afternoon watching her husband and our kids slide down a hill on cardboard boxes that is cushioned right behind our houses that leads up to another street with more base houses. Stacie introduced me to my next partner in crime, Maggie who was also my neighbor in front of my house on the block. Even though Stacie’s husband eventually got out of the Marine Corps, cross decked to the Army and they’re now in on the East Coast; we still keep in touch and when she’s in town we try to get together for fish tacos and good conversation every time!

Maggie is a Navy wife, mother of a handsome son and beautiful little girl. I know what you’re thinking Navy wife, it was a new concept to me too but at the time I didn’t know that Navy, Marine Corps, Army, ect all comingled on the same Marine Corps base. LOL! Silly I know! I was uneducated on the issue but learning everyday! Maggie is another one instrumental to my initial progress and blossoming here. She’s another good example of a great person whom I couldn’t have gotten where I am now without her influence. She’s a ball of energy I could barely keep up with at times. We found out not too long after we met that our husbands were both in the same unit and that they would be deploying together. This cemented our friendship even more since we’d be going through very similar emotions and situations at pretty much the same time. Maggie’s a lighthearted nature girl from the Northwest with German roots very much like myself. Since both of these ladies lived across the street or next to me if I needed anything I’d just go get it from their house. I loved being able to walk 20 steps from my house to see a friend who was a lot like a family member. Like Stacie; Maggie expanded my knowledge of my surroundings. We were inseparable pretty much from the start. Since I didn’t have much to do and before I got heavily involved in Anthony’s unit I babysat her kids while she went to work. It all was a lot of fun! Maggie eventually moved to from across the street to a brand new house on base but only about 10 minutes away from us. She’s gotten reacquainted with her passion of painting and also into photography. She has a very good eye for the best shot. I don’t know if Stacie and Maggie realize how much they helped me get out of my funk, feel comfortable in this place and get me out of my shell. They are some of the most funny, energetic and outstanding ladies I know and we will be friends for many years to come.

Once I got to know more about my surroundings, the FRO (Family Readiness Officer) for Anthony’s unit, people at the girls’ school, and baseball practices I got to know so many other unique and interesting ladies like Angela, Gaby and Jackie to name just a few. All of our lives may be different but we share a common bond and our stories are so very far from over...

"WE'RE NOT IN TEXAS ANYMORE!!!"

Initially upon getting to our base housing community, settling into our beautiful new house and putting our foot in the door I knew I was not in Texas anymore. This land called California was a complete culture shock compared to what I have known for 20+ years in the bold state of Texas. We say what we mean and mean what we say, our integrity and character stands for more than money and are just all around naturally polite but stubborn people. A true Texan to me is someone who is strong minded, not scared to let you know their opinion, doesn't apologize for voicing their opinion, and would take their shirt off of their back to help out another person in need. No we all don't own farms, chickens, cows and horses. No we do not ride said horses to work or the corner store. I got that question from someone here in California when I was carded and just stared at the waiter like he was the crazy one. Come on guy!! Really?! LMAO!! But yes it is true that everything’s bigger in Texas from the food, vehicles, cities, people and our hearts. LOL. In California things are just not that way. For the most part people are not very cordial and typically don’t even look you in the eye. People here at first sight to me were a lot like the scenery very beautiful. From head to toe some of these people are just unbelievably perfect. 

My first encounter with a typical Californian happened at Wally World where a senior citizens car hadn’t started. I offered politely if he needed any assistance and offered to jump him with my Chevy truck still equipped with standout Texas license plates. He looked up at me with peering eyes and then looked back down under the hood of his car without saying a word to me. I thought, “What did I do wrong? Was I mean, rude or inappropriate? I don’t think so, okay fine then sit here and wait for your AAA then!” I understand people being cautious and everything now a days but my goodness. I took it very personal and was kind of hurt. I was just trying to help and he completely ignored me. What I have learned being out here a little longer is that there are salesmen everywhere. I will give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe he thought I was going to try and get him to subscribe to Texas Monthly or something.

So since we were Geo-Bachelor at first, I knew nothing of Marine Corps life really other than basic boot camp knowledge and some other basic information from MarineParents.com. Marine Corps life and Civilian life are completely different. I knew nothing of the wives’ lingo, that a commissary was a grocery store, support groups, base housing and the different communities all over the base, there are schools on base for only military kids, the base is like a city, buildings all look the same for the most part and the only way to tell the difference is to know the area numbers, there are different times during the day when things come to a halt, the typical duties and expectations of a stay at home Marine wife, and just what to do with myself. It didn’t help that I didn’t know anyone or have a hobby at all. Anthony was preparing for an upcoming deployment (also called a work up) so he wasn’t at home as much. I was a recluse for the first few months because I didn’t know my way around. I was just a bad combination of sad and bummed out emotions and spent a lot of time upset feeling like I should have stayed in Texas. Being homesick really sucks! I miss the things one can only find in Texas like Mrs. Baird’s bread, Blue Bell Ice Cream, Whataburger, good country music and night dance halls, trail rides, real rodeos, a deep southern accent and everyone you walk by saying, “Hi ya’ll! Good mornin’!!” I knew though that the best thing was for our family to be together.

Southern California is extremely beautiful! I now have grown to love this region of the USA so much that I speak passionately about not returning to my scorching hot and humid home state that I love so much. The weather here is what makes it so ridiculously pretty. There are 350 days give or take of pure sunshine with a normal high of about 70* and lows in the 40’s. The coast is never far away, the mountains, deserts, San Diego, L.A. and even Las Vegas are all close and I’ve never seen anything like it until we moved here. Throughout the never ending changes together we will both go through this adventure. We will continue to look forward to the future with a positive outlook because with our Marine Corps family and many other friends we’ve gained along the way it can only get better from here.